


Aren't You Tired?

by TheRaadicalKid



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Drama Llama, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Youll probably wanna scream at the characters, did i mention Major Angst, maybe slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-09-20 11:41:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 35,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9489590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRaadicalKid/pseuds/TheRaadicalKid
Summary: HOW KARA DANVERS AND LENA LUTHOR, THE TWO BEST FRIENDS, LOSE EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF LOVE ONLY TO HAVE EACH OTHER BACK FOR THE SAME REASON."Unbelievable Lena!" She twitches her mouth in dismay. She motions the phone up in the air. "This? You're goin back to her because of this?! Cant you see, she's using you! Goddamit! For someone who's supposed to be all smart and powerful, being the youngest CEO, you are really stupid Lena!!"Kara's words were a reality check to Lena. It was a slap on the face. She knows how true they were but she refuses to let it sink in. She refuses to believe that... She spent years just letting her own heart break.///I suck at summaries. Give it a try still tho. maybe? :)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A realistic take on relationships. Im sorry in advance.
> 
> Yall before you read this im gonna apologize for my writing style. This is the first fic ive ever finished and the first thing ive ever written in my whole life. Im just a shipper who has a wild imagination for her ship and whose first language isnt english. There will def be a lot of mistakes since i dont have time to reread and check but i still hope u get to stick by and enjoy the story. Thank u!

Kara had watched Lena's heart get broken a thousand times by Veronica Sinclair. For years, she had watched Lena breakdown and cry just because of her. She had witnessed how much Lena put Veronica above all else. Above Kara. For years, Kara had witnessed Lena suffer, how her life kept shattering to million pieces, everything turning into a constant cycle. It was hard to believe that anyone could survive that kind of emotional stress for so long. But Lena did. 

And each and every time, Kara was there to pick up the pieces and put them back together. Each and every time, Kara's shoulders were there for Lena to cry on, her ears, always there to listen. Each and every time, Kara's home was there for safe haven and her heart, giving all the Love Veronica couldn't be able to give to Lena, the love that Lena deserved. Every step of the way, Kara was there. Always. no matter what the circumstances are.

And every time, she had to watch Lena come crawling after Veronica Sinclair. It didn't matter how many times Veronica hurt Lena. At the end of the day, Kara had to see the person she loves the most forgive someone who kept causing her pain.

Kara has kept her mouth shut for years. She had no right to tell Lena what to do. So she took it all in, silently hurting at the sidelines every time Lena got hurt and every time she chose Veronica Sinclair. She has kept herself from crossing the boundaries because having Lena in her life was more than enough. Being just an _option and not a priority,_  being just the _second,_ hurt like hell but for Kara, it was worth it. Lena needed her as a friend and she is always going to be what Lena needs her to be no matter how much it hurt.

But Kara is tired. Angry. They've been doing this cycle for so many years already. If Lena hasn't had enough of Veronica Sinclair, she has. Kara's had enough.

So when Lena knocks on her door at 2 in the morning, she decides this will be the last time she does it because of Veronica Sinclair.

Kara opens the door. Lena's appearance wasn't really a shock. She was a mess. She always is when Veronica and her fight. She has already expected this.

Kara sighs looking at Lena whose eyes are still puffy from crying. Lena immediately hugs Kara as her tears are slowly starting to fall again. Kara bites her lips to stop herself from crying too. Lena hurting hurts her too.

"Come here." Kara kisses Lena's head and pulls her onto the couch before she gets the ice cream from the fridge.

"I got your favorite here. Some Mint - Pistachio ice cream" Kara smiles sadly as she hands Lena a box of tissue and a spoon. She curls up beside her on the couch, letting Lena rest her head on her shoulders.

"Oh Kara..." Lena sobs. "She's been ignoring me for days. And Maggie told me she saw Veronica with a man. She was kissing him."

Kara could feel Lena's pain. It wasn't technically cheating because they were never officially together. Not once. Kara doesn't even know what to call them. As years pass by, her hatred towards Veronica just grows and grows. Not because She has the person Kara loves the most wrapped up around her finger but because she takes Lena for granted when she should have given Lena the world.

"Hey sweetie. You know what I think about this. We've been here in the exact same situation just last month." Kara sighs as she picks up a tissue and wipes Lena's tears, her hand soothing Lena's back to comfort her.

"I, I, I know-" Lena was now panting as she lets out broken cries. Her nose is red and her eyes are sore. It was heartbreaking to witness, really.

"-bu,but she said she'll change. And now this happened. I asked her wha, what would she fefeel if I do what she did. Shee shee totold me it's not a big deal and she doesn't really care"

"Hey hey." Kara cups Lena's cheeks and looks at those green eyes. "It's her loss, alright? She doesn't realize what she's missing. You have to stop this, Lena. Enough is enough. You said it yourself last month, you know what to do. You know you have to leave her."

"I know. I kno knoww. I will, Kara. I promise. I won't take this kind of treatment anymore. I'll be strong enough to leave her this time. I swear."

Kara wipes Lena's tears at the corner of her eyes and tucks Lena's messy hair behind her ear. "We're gonna eat this ice cream and enjoy ourselves. tomorrow, we'll leave town and have the road trip of our lives, alright?"

"But you have work"

Kara waves her hand off. "Psh. Snapper can take it!"

Lena gives Kara a big grin and hugs her tightly. Kara feels Lena's tears falling on her shoulders.

"Tha thank you Kara. I wouldn't know what to do without you"

They happily devour two pints of Ben n Jerry's ice cream and some chips as they watch Lion King. It was something Lena and Kara never outgrew. Their love for good ol fashioned disney films is simply part of their existence.

Lena's phone vibrates. She checks it only to see 2 new messages.

 

 

 

 

 

> **Veronica Sinclair ❤️**  
>  _Lena, where are you? Look, i'm really sorry, okay. It was Nothing. The kiss meant nothing. I just really needed to close the business deal with him. It's just work Lena. Not a big deal. Don't make a fuss out of it. I promise, it won't happen again. I won't let work come between us. Don't you love me anymore? After everything, you're just gonna leave me like that? I'm sorry. I love you! Come home right now. I'll wait for you._
> 
> **Veronica Sinclair ❤️**  
>  _Oh by the wait, we have to go to gala tomorrow. It wouldn't really look good on both of us if we don't come together. Wr need good press, dear. Come home now!_

Lena sits up straight and outs the ice cream down on the table. "I uh. I have to go, Kara"

Kara looks at her disbelievingly. The brightness on Lena's phone catches her attention. She grabs it and reads the message.

"Kar-"

"Stop!" Kara stands.

"Please Kara. She wants me back. She needs m-"

"Unbelievable Lena!" She twitches her mouth in dismay. She motions the phone up in the air.

"This? You're goin back to her because of this?! Cant you see, she's using you!! Goddamit! For someone who's supposed to be all smart and powerful, being the youngest CEO, you are really stupid Lena!!" Kara throws the phone on the couch, landing just few inches beside where Lena's sitting.

"What happened to i promise i'll be strong enough to leave her?! It hasn't even been a day since you said it!-"

"Stop it!" Lena was practically begging, tears once again falling from her eyes.

"-Aren't you tired Lena?! Aren't you tired forcing yourself to someone who doesn't love you!!! Oh why am i not surprised?! dammit, Open your eyes!"

Kara's words were a reality check to Lena. It was a slap on the face. She knows how true they were but she refuses to let it sink in. She refuses to believe that... She spent years just letting her own heart break.

Lena stands, clenching her fists. Her eyes widens at what Kara said. It definitely hit a nerve. She stops crying, her pain now replaced by rage.

"Am I not tired Forcing myself to someone who doesn't love me?" Lena walks closer to Kara, now barely 2 feet away from each other. Lena pauses and makes sure she's looking at Kara's eyes. "AREN'T YOU? Aren't you tired of loving me?!?!!"

Lena sees the shock in Kara's eyes. She sees Kara's pain too. But it was now too late to take back what she said.

"I'm not blind, Kara. I've noticed how you feel. But I LOVE HER! I LOVE VERONICA, Kara!! And she loves me!!!!! IS IT REALLY THAT HARD FOR YOU TO SEE ME HAPPY?! The problem is your feelings, Kara. They should have been gone a long time ago!"

And for the first time Kara's world shatters in to a million pieces. For years, she has endured the pain but not to this point. It has never reached this point. She never should have believed Lena's words, promising to be strong enough. After all, that's all Kara wanted, for Lena to be strong and independent, to love herself enough to know her worth, to never settle for anything less because truth be told, Lena deserves nothing but the best life has to offer.

Lena's words were like knives thrusting deeper to her heart, stabbing and killing her. Her words made her remember all those times Lena wasn't able to go with her and their friends back in highschool since Veronica Sinclair didn't want her to. She remembers those times Lena lied straight to their faces to make up a crappy excuse why she avoided them. Kara remembers those times when they already had initially planned something but Lena had to cancel since Veronica Sinclair called her. She remembers that time when Lena had to give up her education in Harvard because Veronica wanted her to transfer in MIT with her. Lena's words burns through her aching heart as she remembers all those times how Lena had always chosen Veronica, those times how Lena agreed to whatever Veronica said, no questions asked, all those times Lena had to sacrifice her hopes and dreams for that woman who only thinks about herself!

Kara's tears slowly fall from her eyes, her voice breaking.

"It didn't matter, Lena. If you felt the same way or not. You tell me that she loves you?" Kara chuckles sarcastically.

"I had to watch you drown yourself in alcohol, crying yourself out. I had to pull your hair up as you vomit everything you had the previous night! I had to watch you lose Lcorp and rebuild it again from scratch! I had to watch you throwaway a whole year in college when you were so heartbroken! Dammit, I had a monthly supply of ice cream in my fridge! I had to bring you to a boxing gym and a shooting range to let all your pain and anger out!! I had watched you throw away your future and fix it up!! I had to watch your laughter turn into tears! I had to watch you fall apart from time to time, Lena!" Kara was now basically shouting, letting it all out.

"ALL THOSE THINGS I HAD TO WITNESS BECAUSE OF WHAT.... Because of her, Lena! Because of her!! But never have I ever overstepped. Never have I Ever taken advantage of your situation! All I ever did was be what you needed me to be! And now...." Kara shakes her head in disbelief.

"now... How dare you accuse me of not wanting you to be happy when that's all I ever wanted!"

"Kara.." Lena starts to speak.

"No! You want my feelings gone, Lena? Well, consider it _gone_!!! You badly want to get out of this apartment, Fine! then get out!! _Leave!_ "

Lena blinks. she doesn't say a word. She knows her and Kara's emotions are taking control of this conversation and it's no use talking until they've both calmed down anyways. She heads towards the door. She pauses as if contemplating to stay or not. She still decides to leave but not before she hears Kara's last words.

"Do me a favor, and get out of my life as well " Kara whimpers, tears falling. "The next time _she_ hurt you.... find yourself another best friend to cry on"

This time there was no hint of anger in Kara's voice. It was now fueled with pure sadness, grief and pain. Anyone who hears how she said those words would know it broke her heart into pieces.

Lena hears it, tears falling. She sighs and walks out of Kara's apartment, out of Kara's life. Despite the reluctance...

_Lena still chooses to leave nonetheless._

Kara collapses on the floor as she watched her  _world_ walk out of her life. She can literally feel her heart getting ripped out from her insides. She puts her clenched fist on top of her heart. She tries to soothe it as if it would somehow make her feel better. It doesn't. She lies down on the floor, her fist still on top of her heart. She just stays there all night, laying still, unable to move.

Kara closes her eyes and weeps and mourns. She mourns for what she had just lost. She weeps for that newly formed void in her heart, the feeling of emptiness that she knows nothing and no once could ever fill. 

_Kara weeps._

_And Kara mourns._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, this really was supposed to be a oneshot. Chapter one actually did happen in real life I just put Lena and Kara in it. But seeing all your comments, it inspired me to continue. So thank u thank u so much! Really appreciate it! 
> 
> Sorry for the late update. College's been hectic.

* * *

After that night in Kara's apartment, everything actually turned upside down. Veronica was finally able to see Lena's worth. Lena and Veronica officially dated exclusively. She can now feel that Veronica really does love her. She thinks she's happy. Her relationship is steady. But the one person she wants to tell about this is missing. The day Veronica asked her to be her girlfriend, Lena almost spoke to Kara. Back then, she typed Kara's number only to remember they were not on speaking terms. She can't help but feel a sting in her heart. She thinks she was supposed to be happy, right? She now has everything she had always wanted - Veronica's love. So why wasn't it enough?

 

She sees Kara's photo's in Instagram. Kara always post photos with cheesy captions thanking her friends, saying she couldn't imagine life without them. Especially with this one girl, Lucy Lane. Kara seems to have lots of dorky and silly photos with her accompanied my cheesy captions. She's always out with her friends. They seem to always go to some epic adventure. They go to the mountains, beaches, lakes, and even to another country this one particular weekend. they go snorkeling, hiking, cliff diving. Kara seems to always be away from the city and enjoys her life. Kara seems to be free. Something that Lena didn't get to see before.

 

So when Veronica and Lena have their first fight after 3 months and a half, she doesn't go to Kara. She has no right. So she deals with her pain by herself.

 

 

"Bab, bart, bartender! One mmore please" Lena slurs her speech as she puts another shot of tequila down.

"I don't think so. Miss Luthor." The bartender says.

"Isn't it your job to make me more drinks?! Lena pokes him. "Do your goddamn job!"

The Bartender sighs and gives Lena another shot of tequila. "Okay what is it? Is it about Love?"

Lena chuckles, sarcastically. "Hm. Loveeeeeeee. Tell me mr. Bartender, do you believe in lollove?"

"I dont know. Do you?"

Lena takes her shot of tequila. She winces at the taste.

"Oh, please. It's my most elaborate method of self harm." She whispers as a tear falls from her eyes.

Lena's head throb. She had way too much to drink. She knows she shouldn't call Kara. Not when she hasn't called her once for 3 months and a half. Not when Kara seems to be happy without her. But with the alcohol clouding her judgement and hazing her memory, she turns to what's familiar. She does what she always does. She calls Kara.

 

* * *

 

  
Kara was with her friends when her phone rings at 2 am. It was Lena.

 

Kara's heart starts to beat faster and faster as she looks at her phone. 3 and half months, radio silence. 3 and half months after and she calls? She asks herself what does Lena want. She can see the tabloids and even their mutual friends mention it to Kara that finally Veronica is changing and doing everything she can for Lena. So why is Lena calling her at 2 am like she used to?

Kara breathes and calms herself before answering.

Kara doesn't say a word as she waits for Lena to speak first.

 

_"Kara! Oh my gosh you totally have to get me" She hears Lena giggle. "I'm at this bar we always go to. Kaaaraaa. It's Veronica. She's-"_

"Lena, stop. Not my job anymore. I can't. I won't pick you up."

Kara ends the call and immediately texts Alex.

 

> **Alex**  
>  Alex, I know it's really late. But can you pick Lena up? She sounds really drunk. Doesn't even remember we had a falling out. Please? I wouldn't ask if it's not an emergency.

 

Kara's phone rings again. It was Mike.

"Mike?"

_"Kara! Sorry but you know that friend you always bring here, Ms. Luthor? Well, she's really drunk and this guy keeps on hitting on her. I couldn't do anything since Ms. Luthor doesn't mind."_

"I'm on my way."

> **Alex**  
>  I'm on my way there too. See you @ Mike's Bar.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kara arrives at the bar and sees Lena. And it's like her efforts of moving on for the past 3 months have gone to waste. Kara dragged herself out of her room every morning after crying and self wallowing the night before.

 

For the past 3 and a half months, Kara went to go soul searching. her friends dragged her out of the city to help her forget Lena. They went hiking but all she remembered was how She and Lena watch the movie 127 Hours. They went to the beach but all she remembered was how she and Lena played frisbee at the Luthor's beach house with Lena's golden retriever back in college. They went snorkeling but all she remembered was the aquarium in Lena's penthouse. They went to Lucy's lake house but all she remembered was that party by the lake She and Lena got invited to for the first time in high school. They went to Japan but all she remembered are the treats and souvenir Lena brought for her when she came back from a business trip in Asia. They went camping but all she remembered was the time they put up a tent at Kara's backyard in Midvale and built a bonfire and made smores.

 

Kara was happy and thankful her friends were there or else she would have never stopped thinking about Lena on every trip. She created new memories with her friends and really had a great time with them. But in between all those laughters and experiences they had, Lena still lingered her mind from time to time. Slowly though, she stopped. She somehow was able to stop thinking about her and probably had managed to move on from her.

Tears still fall every time she remembers Lena but not to the point that would make her eyes puffy. She told herself that she should really move on accept things for what they are. And she did.

 

Or she thought she did. But now she sees Lena and her heart beat is rising rapidly. She's looking at Lena and it's like the past 3 months and a half never happened at all. Like she's back there that night at her apartment, feeling so in love and badly hurt at the same time, her world crashing and torn into pieces. And she honestly doesn't know what's worst. She just knows that she is feeling everything all at once at that moment.

 

Kara couldn't stop herself from shaking her head in disbelief. How could she put herself in this situation again? She heads over to where Lena is as she wonders what Veronica did. Because again, it always comes down to to Veronica

"Get your hands off her" Kara says to the man beside Lena.

"And who are you" the man asks.

Kara didn't really know how to answer that. She evens asks herself why she is here right now. Who is she to Lena, anyways.

"Doesn't matter. My sister is an FBI agent and she'll be here any minute to pick us up. I suggest you leave before that happens."

The man leaves but not before giving them a hateful look.

Kara nods at Mike. "Thanks for calling me, Mike."

"No problem." He looks at Lena "sounds like matters of the heart, Kara"

 

Kara stares at Lena who is now passed out drunk at the counter. She moves the hair off covering Lena's face as she sighs.  
"It always is."

Lena tried to open her eyes and say something. Kara rubs Lena's back to soothe her.

"Sssh. Sokay. I got you" Kara whispers. " i got you"

 

Alex arrived shortly after. They were supposed to take Lena to Kara's apartment but Kara said to drive them to Lena's penthouse instead. Kara still has the key Lena gave her for emergency use. Alex helped Kara carry Lena to her bed. Alex was hesitant to leave Her at first knowing what happened between them but kara assures her she's okay and thank her before she leaves.

 

Kara wets the face towel on a tub of water beside her. She cleans Lena's face with it and her arms. She changes Lena into her Pajamas.

 

Lena feels this and starts to open her eyes. Lena stares at Kara like she couldn't believe that Kara was there.

 

"Ka, kara?" Seeing Kara infront of her, Tears start to fall from Lena's eyes. Lena pulls Kara for a tight hug "Gosh Kara. imm sorry... I-"

"Shhh, ssshh. Im here" Kara tries to stop Lena from crying. She wipes Lena's tears away and rubs Lena's forehead gently. "It's okay. Go back to sleep, Lena. Rest up."

Lena closes her eyes. Lena was still clinging to Kara. Kara didn't pull away. She continues hugging Lena in her arms and rubs Lena's forehead as she hums.

 

Kara wanted to get out from there. Everything just hurts inside. She is hurting because even though Lena stayed with Veronica, she thought that Lena was done with this. That Veronica didn't hurt her like this anymore. She is hurting because she finds herself in this position once again. She finds herself wishing that it would be her instead of Veronica. That it would be her that Lena would choose. And she hated herself for wishing that because she knows it will never happen but she still hopes. And she hated hoping because in reality, hoping is the worst. It just prolongs the pain, the ache, the inevitable.

 

When She was sure Lena was sound asleep, Kara stares at Lena in her arms once more, taking it all in. Tears start falling from her eyes. She bites her lip to stop them as smiles sadly, her heart wanting so much that her head knows is never going to happen.

 

Her parents had warned Kara about the drugs in the street _but never the ones with green eyes and a heart beat._ Because at this very moment, that's what Lena surely feels like. Something you know that could destroy you yet you still go back and back for it, something you can't stay away from, wanting for so much more.

Kara carefully pulls away from Lena. She stands and tucks the comforter above Lena.  
She puts a glass of water on the bedside table and some medicines for the hangover Lena would get when she wakes up.

Before she leaves, She stares at Lena once more, her heart aching of loving someone who unquestionably isn't in love with her. And that... feels like a whole new level of self destruction.

 

* * *

 

 

Though not totally but Kara and Lena are somehow in the same predicament. Their falling out was all about Kara calling out Lena's inability to stop loving someone who kept on her hurting her. Ironically, that's what Kara was doing too. Kara knows this.

 

But the difference is Lena, given the choice, wouldn't hurt Kara, not the way Veronica does. The difference is Kara knows when enough is enough. Kara knows she is doing something about it. She may have been there for Lena tonight but she wouldn't let this or the emotions she felt tonight get in the way of what she was trying to do for the past 3 months and a half. Not when it took a lot of effort and hard work not just from her but from her friends too to put all of Kara's broken pieces back together, to put her life back on track. Not after what Lena had said to her. Not when she didn't hear a single word from Lena after that.

 

So she texts Alex...

 

> **Alex**  
>  Please don't tell Lena anything about this night. She might not remember it so...  
>  I wasn't here. You weren't here. We both weren't here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay friends, I don't really know how many chapter there would be. I was thinking may 5 or 6 but who knows maybe more? But hope you stick till the end. 
> 
> And I know we all love Lena and Kara together but come on. Maybe not yet. Things were said and done. And words are really powerful weapon. Anyways, Thank you so much!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the errors. Wrote this chaper super fast just to have an update. Anyways i'll make the next chapter better to make up for this one. Sorry, really sleepy.

Lena tries to open her eyes, the sunlight blinding her and even making her head throb worst. It took her a while to fully open her half closed eyes and adjust to her surroundings.

_Ow. My head._

She looks around, realizing where she is. Her mind flashes back to last night.

_And oh my god! I called Kara!_

Lena Panics as she remembers herself drunk dialing Kara, calling her for the first time. She hated herself for doing that because one, pride. Second, it was bot the right time to call Kara. She knows she messed up really bad. Lena had always imagined herself picking up the phone and apologizing to Kara but somehow, she couldn't do it. And third, because Kara said No. She hated herself for calling her best friend, if that's still what they are now, because she remembers. She remembers how Kara said No to her despite being in need. Lena thinks she remembers seeing Kara. But the memory was so hazy. Was that real? Or was it just a dream? She thinks it was. She was drunk and Kara had said No. She said she can't and won't. A sudden rush of disappointment and hurt flow through her veins. She just couldn't believe it. Lena had actually thought that no matter what they go through, Lena and Kara would always be there for each other when it matters the most. Oh well, she decides she couldn't blame Kara. After what Lena said and calling her when she was drunk, Kara had the right to push her away. Kara's words echo in her mind as she remembers that night again.

_Do me a favor and get out of my life as well!_

_Do me a favor and get out of my life as well!_

_Do me a favor and get out of my life as well!_

_Do me a favor and get out of my life as well!_

  
She asks herself. Could she really do it? Could she really be okay without Kara? Is she being selfish?

 

She can't be. She pictures out the typical Sunny, Bubbly and Dorky Kara Danvers in her head and how she turned into the total opposite the moment Lena uttered those words in Kara's apartment. Lena hates herself for that. But Kara is happy now. More than Lena has ever seen her be. She couldn't drag Kara to her drama. Not anymore. But still, it doesn't stop her from wishing Kara is still in her life. And Lena doesn't know if that makes her a bad person.

_Wait. How did I get here?_

 

Lena finally realizes she's in her Pajamas. She looks at her phone and sees one missed call and a message from Veronica.

 

> **Veronica Sinclair** ❤️  
>  I'm sorry. Left some flowers there in the living room this morning. Didn't want to wake you up though. Let's talk later?

 

She sighs. Lena and Veronica had their first fight a few days ago after 3 and a half months. There was a sense of familiarity in it since they used to always fight for years. But something about it was different too. Maybe it's because Veronica was now the one reaching out and not her? Or... Lena doesn't know. Something is different. But she quite just can't explain it.

She looks around and sees the glass of water and some Advil on the bedside table. She smiles, thinking how much Veronica had changed for the past months just because Veronica got scared thinking she would actually leave her. When Lena got sick before, Veronica wouldn't even have time. She was a busy person after all. But now, the flowers and the Advil, and her changing Lena into her Pajamas, she never would have thought Veronica would be a girlfriend material.

She can't help but think about Kara. Kara who used to do all those things for her...

 

* * *

 

It's been weeks since Kara saw Lena. Lena might have not probably really remembered that she was the one who took her home. She hasn't called or anything so yeah. Not that Kara wants her to. It's probably best this way.

Seeing Lena that night again had brought up so many memories, unsaid feelings and unhealed wounds for Kara. She may had the courage to leave Lena's loft that night but she had to start from scratch all over again. She went home and cried herself to sleep again. The progress she has made, the progress that her friends worked hard for, was just gone. It was like she had to start from step 1 again

She's angry at herself for feeling hurt. She shouldn't feel that way anymore. It was so hard getting back up but she finally did but now like an addict, she had relapsed and stumbled again. Now, she had to learn how to stand again.

After that night, Lucy Lane started hanging out with Kara more often. Kara told her what happened. so basically, Lucy drops by everyday, bringing Kara some doughnuts, potstickers, or coffee for Kara.

Lucy was like Kara's sober companion. She was like Kara's crutches. Whenever Kara was about to wallow into the deep hole of pain and misery, it's Lucy who pulls Kara out. It's Lucy who teaches Kara how to stand again, how to walk her life again.

Somehow, for the past few weeks, Kara had thought less about Lena when she's with Lucy. Somehow, Kara found herself smiling more often every time she's with her. Somehow, Kara finds herself missing Lucy's presence when she's not around. Maybe it's because Lucy makes Kara feel like herself, The Sunny Kara who always smiles. Maybe it's because Lucy brings out the light in her. Maybe it's because Lucy makes Kara feel special, that at least someone considers her the priority and not just an option. Maybe it's because Lucy seems perfect.

 

Maybe.  
Maybe not.  
But whatever the reason is, at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter because one person always lingered her mind no matter what. Lena Luthor 

 

"Oh come on, Luce! I'm really not in the mood to dance!" Kara complains as Lucy drags her to the dance floor.

"It'll be fine, Kar. Look!" Lucy dances really well as she laughs and tickles Kara. "Let looooooosee"

"Fine. Fine! I guess we could have some fun before Winn arrives and throws us rants about Siobhan" Kara holds both of Lucy's hands, swaying it around as they dance to the beat. There was too much laughter in between them.

Kara and Lucy had actually been dancing for awhile and had been really having fun. Most fun Kara probably had in weeks. And once again, she was grateful to Lucy for that.

Kara's laughter slowly fades away when Lucy leans in, putting her arms above Kara's shoulders. Lucy nips Kara's earlobe in disguise.

"Don't look. But Lena up there. 2nd floor."

Lucy then puts her arms around Kara's waist, pulling her closer while Kara puts her arms on top of Lucy's shoulders. They hug each other, knowing A pair of eyes was watching them.

Kara slowly moves her head, looking up at the second floor where the ViP area is, where Lena is.

That's when she senses it. Those green eyes and a heart beat. Lena was leaning over, staring at Kara for who knows how long.

Surprisingly, those green eyes were filled with disappointment and bitterness. Kara wonders why. Lena couldn't be mad at her, could she? Hell, If someone has the right to be mad it would be Kara!

Lena and Kara have been still staring at each other when a figure heads towards her, putting her arms around Lena's waist. The woman moves Lena's hair to her right side as she kisses Lena's neck, Lena tilting her head a little bit for encouragement. It was her. It was Veronica Sinclair kissing Lena while Lena and Kara is still staring at each other.

Kara gulps and unconsciously clenches her fists as she sees Veronica Sinclair. She rolls her eyes and pulls away from Lucy slowly.

"I can't be here! I have to! I mean I have to get out of here, Luce!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments friends. Really appreciated your comments and suggestions. Might not update Regularly since its exam week starting on monday and I have to study. But i swear gonna fix it after exam week! :)
> 
> And oh, is the pacing okay for y'all? Or is too much of a slow burn? I could make the story a little faster if you want? What do you think?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that Lena may appear like she doesn't care about Kara but she does. Trust that i love supercorp / karlena.

"I can't be here! I have to! I mean I have to get out of here, Luce!"

Kara starts to turn and walk away. But Lucy pulls her back.

"No. Kara. You can't be like this. You can't just leave the room every time she turns up. You have to face her at some point, Kara."

"Yes I know." Kara sighs. "I'm just gonna go and get us some drinks, Luce"

Kara was sitting at the stool, still waiting for Mike for her ordered drinks when she senses someone staring at her. Her gear was starting to beat rapidly. Nervously, she faces the person standing beside her.

"Lena" she whispers, not really sure if she could hear her.

Lena laughs, still staring at Kara.

"Your drunk. Again." kara scoffs

"Again?" Lena let's out a sarcastic laugh. "Right. The last time was when you didn't even care enough to come"

"Here you go, Kara" mike interrupts, putting the drinks in front of Kara.

Kara just shakes her head at Lena's accusation and starts to walk away. But Lena pulls her back, gripping her arms.

"You told me you would always be there for me! But that was just some talk shit bullshit! Wasn't it?!"

And hearing thoSe words, Kara slapped Lena. It wasn't hard enough to leave a mark. But it was enough to hurt. Shock was evident in Kara's eyes. She didn't expect Lena to say that as much as she didn't expect to slap her. Kara's heart feel like it wanted to get out of her chest.

"Don't." Tears start to fall from Kara's eyes. "Don't you dare say that. I have always been there for you..."

Kara shakes her head. She can see Lucy in her peripheral view. Kara wonders when exactly did Lucy get there and how much of the interaction did she witness

"When have you ever?" Kara whispers as she twists her other hand, letting herself free from Lena's grip.

"Let's go home, Kar" Lucy says, pulling Kara away from the bar.

* * *

 

"What the hell's wrong with you?!" Lena blinks at what just happened. She faces the bartender who witnessed eveything, confused and slightly offended at what he said.

"What?!"

"How can you even say that to Kara? For the past years both of you were always here. Mostly because and for you. Then just last month, she had come to rescue you from that Maxwell creep and had to carry you home. And you told her tha-"

"Wait? What do you mean brought me home?"

"Oh. You didn't know? She carried you out with the help of her sister. Kara was right you know. She had always been there for you. When Have you ever?"

* * *

 

  
Mike's words echo in Lena's mind as she knocks on the door. Her heart beating so fast. She hated herself for everything she had said to Kara.

 _When have you ever?_  
When have you ever?  
When have you ever?

 _Oh my gosh. How can I be so stupid!? The Advil and the glass of water. Me in my night clothes. That dream where Kara was taking care of me. Oh god. It was real. It was real!! And I just accused her!! Again. Gosh, Kara.._.

***knock  
*knock  
*knock**

"Kara, I know you're there. I need to talk to you."

***knock  
*knock  
*knock**

"Kara pleaaaasee. I'm sorry. I really really messed up"

***knock  
*knock  
*knock**

"Please let me in, Kara"

***knock  
*knock  
*knock**

"I won't leave until I tell you what I have to tell you. Just hear me out, Kara. Pleaaseee. You can kick me out after. Just please hear me out"

 **_*knock  
*knock  
*knock_**

"Kara, Pleaaaaaaaaaaseeeee"

Lena was practically begging, her forehead leaning on the door for support as she knocks. She was hopeless. Kara didn't wan't to see her. How Could she? She knows she was being the worst best friend ever. She thought Kara would never wan't to see her again.

Until she hears the locks in the other side of the door being unlocked. Until she sees the door knob twist.

Kara was opening the door and she didn't think that her heart could beat even faster than a while ago. But it did. She was a nervous wreck. But Lena messed everything up and she has to fix this. No matter what. She has to.

The door fully opens and there she is, face to face with Kara Danvers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's about time Lena apoligezes to Kara and fix everything. Don't you think?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I'm not updating for awhile but I was having this study break and and I just had these Ideas I needed to write. Tada, the next chapter!
> 
> There was a problem so I accidentally deleted this chapter and reuploaded it. Im sorry to the one who commented at this chapter. I wasnt able to read ur comment it was gone in my inbox :(

  
The door fully opens and there she is, face to face with Kara Danvers.

"Kara" Lena whispers, forgetting what she was actually about to say. After everything, she didn't actually think Kara would open the door. But she tried anyways. Kara didn't move or invite her in.  Lena opens her mouth as she was about to say something. She stops and looks at Kara from head to toe. The blonde just stood there, wearing a unicorn onesie, her hair up in a bun. She stops herself from smiling at the sight of Kara.

 

If the circumstances were different Lena would have teased her about it. Only Kara, who by the way is an adult, would wear a unicorn onesie to sleep like a five year old. Lena tries to collect her thoughts and not focus on the unicorn onesie that Kara is wearing.

 

"What?" Kara asks, barely whispering as she sighs. It was really late and Kara was tired. She really had no energy for the fight that was about to occur. She just really wants to get it over with.

But she couldn't be more wrong. Lena isn't here to fight. Quite the opposite in fact. She is here to apologize.

 

"Kara... I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry Kara. I was so stupid. I thought.. I thought you abandoned me and you had every right to after... After i said all those things and pushed you away. But youu... You.. Mike said... He told me what happened. After everything, you still took care of me. And oh god that night, it wasn't just a dream and I was in your arms and you took care of me Kara.. But why? Why didn-" Kara cuts her off.

 

"-why? You called me drunk Lena. For the first time after..." Kara is still not moving. She didn't want to invite Lena in. She shakes her head instead.

"I didn't want you to know. It would not have changed anything."

"It would have, Kara. It would have-"

"Have what? It would have made you talk to me? It would have made you regret everything you've just probably regretted for what? Like 10? 15 minutes ago?" Kara scoffs. She just couldn't hear more of this. This is really draining her emotionally.

"No!! no kara. No, no!" Lena says as she tries to wipe her tears away.

"I know I didn't talk to you right away. I know I didn't pick up the phone, okay. And i'm really sorry but I regretted what I said the moment I walked out of your apartment that night, Kara. I wanted to take it back the moment it left my mouth. But it was too late. And a while ago in the bar, I was drunk and I saw you with L... I mean I saw you and I know it wasn't an excuse. And Okay, i really acted like a... Like a bitch. And I have no excuse for that. And god, Kara. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I know I have a lot to apologize for. And no apology in this world would probably suffice but I'm really sorry Karaaa. Oh god, im so so stupid! You didn't even telll me you took care of me. You took care of me when you were still mad at me. You still did. And you didn't even tell me and I didn't even thank you and I hurt you even more... I, I, I'm sorrry Kara. I really am. I'm sorry for accusing you of not being there when you always are. Im sorry for saying shitty things. Im sorry for hurting you Kara. Im sorry for causing you pain. Im sorry for taking damn too long to apologize. I know i've said a lot of sorries now but i, i just really am sorry for everything, karaaaa. Pleaase..."

Lena was looking at Kara with those sad teary green eyes. More than 10 years of beings bestfriends, Kara and Lena know each other too well by now. And Kara knew Lena was really nervous. She knows it took a lot for Lena to come here, having the highest pride anyone Kara has ever known. So She knows how Sorry Lena really is. How she regrets everything. She knows how it hurts Lena knowing what she had said to Kara affected her. Kara knows it hurt Lena hurting her. But still, it wasn't enough.

Kara thought all she wanted was for Lena to finally apologize. But a flicker of emotion she couldn't quite understand rush through her. She knows everything Lena had just said is sincere. Genuine. But she doesn't understand why she still feels this way. This is what she wanted, isnt it? For Lena to regret what she had said. But why is she clenching her fist right now? Why does she still want to rip out her own heart? Why are tears starting to accumulate in her eyes? Kara doesn't understand this feeling. She just stood there, taking it all in, taking Lena's apology without responding.

So when Lena finally finished getting out everything she wanted to say, those sad and teary green eyes stares at her with a hopeful look as she waits for a response. For something. Anything.

But with Kara's emotions, all she got was Kara closing the door. Lena puts her hand on the door to refrain it from closing. Kara could see the shock that her reaction gave Lena. Surely, her best friend or whatever they are now didn't expect her to close the door.

Lena pushes the door open. "Kara?" She whimpers. "But.."

"But what?-"

Kara scoffs, biting her lip to stop her tears. To stop everything she's feeling right now. To stop Lena from seeing how vulnerable she actually is around her.

"-But you apologized? Huh! You can't just apologize and expect everything to be back the way they were Lena! You can't just apologize and assume that I would be like _oh hey lets hug or something!_ You cant just apologize and expect that the consequences, that the effects of what you've said won't be there anymore! Lena, you can't just expect that there wouldn't be scars after you put a band aid on the wounds you've caused! The wounds that were still healing when you decided to put some salt in it!! You cant!! You cant, Lena!! You can't just barge in here and apologize after months of silence and expect everything to be okay, Lena!! Because news flash, Lena! They aren't!!"

And with that she slams the door. Kara practically shouted, her veins were even visible. She leans her forehead on the door, trying to calm her self down.

"I know." Lena whimpers, leaning her forehead at the other side of the door too.

"I know, Kara. And... And I'm not expecting you to forgive me. I, I just want a chance. Even the slightest bit of chance. I wouldn't give up for that chance. Karaaa, pleaseee. Just... Pleaaaaasee"

"Maybe. But not today." Kara finally lowers her voice. "I'm tired. Go home, Lena."  
Kara replies, her forehead still leaning on the closed door as she puts her hands on it to regain her balance.

Kara's emotions were intense. She closes her eyes and thinks of happy thoughts. She was breathing heavily. She was just exhausted. Too exhausted. She was scared she might be having an asthma attack. She haven't had it for a long time now.

**_Breathe in Breathe out Breathe in Breathe out_  
**

**_inhale Exhale Inhale Exhale_  
**

Kara rushes to her bed room and opens a drawer. She searches for her inhaler frantically. Kara puts her asthma inhaler in her mouth and pushes the button as she inhales.

**_Breathe in Breathe out Breathe in Breathe out_  
**

**_Inhale_ ** _**Exhale Inhale Exhale  
** _

kara uses her inhale one more time. She panics more as she sees her reflection in the mirror with that Unicorn Onesie

 

_oh gosh. Was I wearing this?_

**_Breathe in Breathe out Breathe in Breathe out_**

****

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Far I'm done with the next chapter too. But I was thinking if I should post it or just ginsih writing the whole fic and post the chapters all at once. Which is better?
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and suggestions!! I've rethink some plots in mind because of them. Really appreciate it friends! ❤️


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.s.  
> What ever happens in any chapter, remember: i love Supercorp / Karlena. They'll always be endgame

For the next few days, Kara hears a knock on her door every morning. Every morning she sees a cup of coffee left on her door step. And every morning since then, Kara hears only three words from Lena outside her door before the green eyed beaut leaves

_** I'm sorry, Kara. ** _

 

For the next few days, home-cooked Lunch which were her favorite food are being delivered in her office. Every day, different favorite. Every day, different home-cooked meal. Every day, there was only one post it note on top of the food box.

_**I'll never stop trying. ** _

 

For the next few days, an envelope slid inside her apartment, probably through the small gap between her door and the floor, welcomes her when she arrives home. The envelope contains one article she had written for the past 4 months and a half. Every night, different envelope. Every night, there was one hand written sentence at the back of the cut out articles Kara had written.

_** Even when we weren't talking, I've always been proud of you, Kara. ** _

 

This was Kara's and Lena's routine. Every single day. Kara had initially thought Lena would stop eventually. But she didn't. Slowly, Kara began to look forward to waking up knowing She would hear Lena's voice in the morning even if Kara doesn't respond. Not even once. Gradually, she began to anticipate what favorite Lunch would she get that day. Slowly, Kara would leave work right away, knowing something would await her in her apartment.

Kara didn't even notice it but this routine made her smile every day. This routine probably made her day. Not until Lucy pointed it out.

 

"Someone's perkier than usual?" Lucy teases. "What is it this time? Pizza? Nachos? Salad?"

Kara looks up and sees Lucy pointing at her Lunch. Unconsciously, Kara smiles. "Potstickers!! Oh gosh they're the best, Luce!! Especially since they're home-cooked!!"

Lucy laughs as she shakes her head. Clearly, Lena knows the way to Kara's heart is through her stomach. It definitely helps that Lena knows all of Kara's favorite and is hell of a cook too!

"Don't you think it's time, Kara? It's been more than 2 weeks."

Kara pauses in eating her potstickers, her smile slowly fades as she ponders the thought.

"You know if you decide to forgive her though that something has to change, right? She is still with Veronica, Kar. You've really made some progress and I'd really hate to see you... I'd hate see you get hurt..."

"I know, Luce. I know"

"I know it's a long shot Kar. But I hope you do give me a chance. You have to give someone a chance to love you at some point, Kar" Lucy holds Kara and pulls her for a tight hug.

"Thank you Lucy. Thank you" Kara whispers.

Lucy was right. She has been perkier than usual. And she knows it's because Lena stayed true to her words. That she's never gonna give up for the slightest bit of chance for Kara to forgive her. But Lucy was right. She has to give someone a chance especially since that Lena is still with Veronica too. She's in this dilemma between moving on completely, cutting Lena out of her life and Forgiving Lena, taking her best friend back.  
She doesn't know what to do. Her friends have been telling her to stay away and move on but what they don't understand is that Lena is more than just someone she is in love with. Was in love with? Kara doesn't know, really.

All she knows is she's been best friend with Lena since they were young. When the Danvers adopted her, she felt so lost. She loved Alex back then but Alex didn't understand how to be surrounded with people and still feel all alone, broken, like you didn't really belong. That all changed when Lena came in to her life. Lena knew how it felt like. Lena understood. She became Kara's rock, her anchor. Lena is family. And like family, no matter how much they really mess up, at the end of the day, family is family.

They both grew up together, experience life together. Yes, other people may think Lena was all about Veronica here and there but Lena is Kara's best friend for a reason too. Lena was the one who had stood up to the bullies for Kara. Lena was the one who had threatened James not to break Kara's heart when they dated back then. Lena was the one who had been there every single day when Kara was mourning Jeremiah'd death. She was there helping Kara get the Danvers' life together when Alex was too broken to function. She was the one who knocked some sense to Alex for Kara's sake. Lena had been the one to push Kara to follow her passion in Journalism since she was too scared. Lena had been the only one who didn't give her a hard time after Kara hurt everyone she loved when this frat boy she kinda dated influenced her in taking drugs. Lena had been the one that made sure that never happened again. Lena had been there. They were both there together in each others' ups and downs, highs and lows, darkest times and the sunniest ones. They've been there in each others' twist and turns of their lives.

It was not Kara's intention to fall in love with Lena. But she did. It had been a roller coaster ride with each other but more than 10 years of being together is no joke. Cutting Lena out completely is not as simple as moving on from your ex. It was like cutting your limb, a part of yourself. It was like mourning the death of your own family member. So her situation was never really that simple.

So when she hears the knock on the door the next morning. She opens it but not before she texts Lucy.

 

 

 

> **Lucy Lane**  
>  I'm doing it.

 

Kara smiles for a bit without saying a word, leaving the door open as she heads to her bathroom to take a shower.

The look on Lena's face was priceless. Kara never saw her that surprised and happy and somehow sad at the same time. The relief that followed after was something new too. And the smile she saw on Lena's face was definitely worth it. Kara's heart skipped a beat.

Not even the best days with Veronica made Lena smile like that.

She wasn't quite sure if she made the right decision. Lucy's words echo in her mind. She doesn't really know if she's just in denial but she tells herself it's okay. She tells herself that her feelings for Lena somehow faded away or if not, lessened. She knows she's probably putting herself in a position where she'll get hurt again but she has to try to be friends with Lena and stop her feelings at the same time. She never really tried before. She was just there, going through the motions, loving Lena, taking it all in as she watches her love another. She never really tried controlling her feelings. But now she will.

It wouldn't really be fair for her to force Lena to love her as much as it wasn't fair for Lena to ask her that night to stop loving her. She has to try for the sake of their friendship. But most importantly, Kara has to try for herself. Kara knew she has to put some boundaries. She knew that taking Lena back in her life, there has to be some lines drawn, some lines not to cross. As much as she loves Lena, she must love herself too not to go back to that whole she managed to drag herself out.

 

This was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I see your comments. Do you really want SuperLane? (but ofcourse they wont be endgame) Lucy wasn't really originally supposed be in the main plot though. Now because of your comments, I like have two versions of the next Chapter already.
> 
> And oh I should really stay away from AO3. Tomorrow's monday in the Philippines and our exam week starts. So if I cant update I'm probably studying


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends. Btw its totally my fault I didnt clarify but those ten years Lena and Kara have been friends, Kara wasn't always in love with Lena. She fell for her best friend gradually. And it was only in their last year of high school that she realized she felt something for Lena.
> 
> P.s. Sorry for the errors ill edit them later. Late for my exams!

Kara heads to the kitchen, fully changed in her skirt, white blouse and a yellow cardigan. Lookin like the Sunny Danvers she is. She finds Lena there sitting on the stool, waiting for her, somehow fidgeting, feeling nervous.

"Hey."  
"Hey"

There was an awkward silence for a while.

"Kara, I'm so-"

"Let's forget it, Lena. The topic gives me heavy feelings. Um, uh and Can we just not talk about anything related to.... Her"

Kara prefers not to talk about it. Right now, she's okay and she wants it to be that way. Kara doesn't know if it had always been like that or just years of practice keeping what she feels inside, not really letting it out. Other people may think she is all bubbly and sunny but really, it's just something that masks all the issues lying underneath the facade.

"Of course." Lena smiles handing Kara the cup from Noonan's. "Coffee?"

"Uh, no. You can have that." Kara shakes her head, not really feeling it. She wants to go back to how she and Lena used to be but it wasn't as easy as she thought. "I don't really drink coffee anymore."

"Oh." Lena was surprised by this. Kara couldn't function even for just a few hours without taking her morning coffee first. Kara not wanting some is out of this world.

"But thank you for the coffees every morning though. It was kind of you. Do you want anything?" Kara says, opening the fridge to get some water.

"Mint Pistachio ice cream would do" Lena beams, missing the Ben n Jerry's Kara always had in her fridge.

Kara closes the fridge. She sighs, putting two bottles of water on the table for her and Lena. "I, uh, I really don't eat that anymore either"

"Oh" again, Lena wonders about this since mint ice cream were her and Kara's favorite since they were young.

There were a lot of things Kara used to do that didn't anymore after she and Lena fought. She used to love her coffees in the morning but it only reminded her of Lena so she stopped. She used to love mint pistachio ice cream but it's only because it was Lena's favorite so it became hers too. She used to have a never ending stock of those ice cream in her fridge but it's only incase Lena comes over crying and in need of comfort food. She used to go listen to cold play but only because it's Lena's favorite band. She used to love sushi but only because Lena always brought her to Japanese restaurants. So when they fought she stopped doing all those things. The coffee was replaced by green juice. The stock of ice cream became a stock of beer in case Lucy or Winn would come over. The Japanese food turned into Chinese food. There were a lot of things she did because and for Lena but now, there are things she turned upside down for no one but herself. She hadn't exactly notice this until now. Maybe she is changing. Maybe she is not. Maybe she's just really growing as a person. Whatever it is, she's okay with it.

"I really have to go, Lena." Kara starts heading towards the door. "You can stay if you want. You remember how to close up, don't you?"

"Yeah.. Yeah.. I do" Lena says, still feeling the awkwardness in the air. She runs toward Kara. "Kara, waait!"

She hugs Kara and the blonde stiffens at her touch. "Thank you."

Kara returns her embrace.

"Baby steps. One day at a time, Right?" Kara whispers, pulling away as she leaves but not before giving Lena a smile .

 

* * *

 

Lucy reads the text from Kara. Her heart beats faster not knowing what Kara meant. What does she mean by doing it? Forgive Lena? Or give Lucy a chance? She didn't reply to Kara's text but those three words have been bugging her all day long. She couldn't take it anymore. So that night. She knocks on Kara's door.

kara, her hair messed up in a bun and clothes covered in paint, opens the door and immediately smiles when she sees her. She pulls Lucy for a hug. Kara was surprised Lucy was there but she didn't mind. It was always a good time around Lucy.

"Lucy! What are you doin here?" Kara pulls away realizing the paint in her hands were all over Lucy now. "Oh god Luce, I'm so sorry. I uh. The paint. Oh Lu-"

Lucy laughs as she enters Kara's apartment. "It's okay Kara. I have few other clothes, you know. What are you doing anyway?"

Kara and Lucy heads to the living room where the canvas and paint were all over the floor above the tarpaulin Kara laid out to not ruin her apartment tiles. Kara used to love painting. It was her stress reliever back then. There was something about art that soothed Kara. She stopped when she reached college. Life just got busy and there were lot of things occupying her mind. She doesn't know it But Kara is one hell of an artist.

"Um, uh, I know its just a bunch of colors and all to you. Maybe it doesn't even make sense. But to me, it portrays meaning and-" Kara nervously explains. She thought Lucy might find her abstract work ugly. Lucy thinks Kara really is a marshmallow. Even a little criticism affected her. But Kara was wrong. Lucy can see the beauty on the unfinished art.

"It's.. Its beautiful Kara"

"Oh. Wait, What? Really?"

"Yeah. I can see the emotions. The dark colors convey sadness, sorrow, maybe confusion. But theseee" Lucy sits on the floor, gesturing to the bright colors. "Thesee are something else. They bring out hope despite the despair. They like remind you the sun would rise after the storm settles. They kind of remind me there is always a tomorrow. They remind me of.... You"

Lucy looks at Kara as the blonde kneels on the floor, sitting on her legs. Kara didn't speak. She was just looking at the Canvas.

"Oh sorry, Kar. I mean that's probably not what you meant. Sorry I just assumed-"

Kara shakes her head. "No, no, Luce. That's exactly what I meant. I just... I just can't believe you understood this. To some it's just a mixture of colors."

"Well, I recognize beauty when I see one" Lucy smiles as she whispers, meeting Kara's gaze.

Kara blinks. In that moment, her heart skips a beat, feeling something unfamiliar. Lucy had asked her a chance. But no she couldn't do that to Lucy. Not when she's not sure if she's still in denial. She couldn't give Lucy a chance if she hasn't completely moved on from Lena. Not partially but it has to be completely. Because that's what Lucy deserves. Lucy deserves a love that is complete and not just some left over. She wouldn't want Lucy to hope for something that is uncertain. Something that might not happen. So she blinks and brushes whatever she's feeling because though she may be confused right now if she had really moved on from Lena but she knows what she's feeling at this moment isn't love.

"Thanks Luce. Here let me show you"

Kara hands the paint to Lucy. She lays out a new canvas and encourages Lucy to just put anything her hearts feels like on it. They talk and laugh at silly things as they splash colors to the canvas that doesn't really make sense. The next thing they know, both of them are splashing paint at each other, giggling like five year olds. Lucy runs after Kara, trying to put some paint on Kara's face.

"Lucy, your putting paint on the walls." Kara says, laughing and running behind the couch.

Lucy runs after her pushing her to the couch. They both fell on it. Kara and Lucy stop laughing, realizing their faces were too close to each other's and Lucy was on top of Kara. They both hear each other's breathing clearly. Lucy's heart started to raise. How she wishes she and Kara would stay in this moment forever.

She sees Kara with this messy hair and messy clothes but all she really sees is the person she is probably starting to fall for. The person she wants to hold. To keep safe and protected.

"Luce" Kara whispers.

Lucy cups Kara's cheek with her right hand with paint on it while her other hand it trying to maintain the balance to make sure she doesn't crush Kara under her. She leans closer, wanting to kiss Kara. She hesitates for a moment but she sees Kara closing her eyes so she leans forward, kissing Kara. Their lips meet and it was everything Lucy used to complain about kisses in the movies. She would always complain why the movies keep portraying you'd feel fireworks when you kiss someone. She didn't believe that. She never did. Not until now. Until she's kissing Kara and everything Lucy feels seemed to intensified. She's kissing Kara and it means everything to Lucy.

She pulls away as she hears Kara trying to whisper her name. She sits up and Kara does the same. Because no matter what she feels for Kara, she wouldn't do anything the blonde would not want.

"Luce, I'm sorry. I cant... I can't do this to you." Kara says looking down, fidgeting.

"It's okay Kar" Lucy squeezes her hand.

Kara doesn't answer.

"Kar... did you... Did you forgive her?"

Kara nods. Lucy doesn't have to say a name. She knows she's talking about Lena. It's always about Lena.

"I know you still feel something for her, Kar. But if you're willing to give me a chance, maybe I could change that."

Kara sighs, shaking her head. "I can't do that to you, Luce. I care too much about you. I don't want to hurt you. I could never forgive myself if I do the same thing to you that- "

Lucy tilts Kara's chin up. Her eyes stares at those blue eyes. They were so beautiful. "If you think you're going to hurt me, don't. I know what I'm getting in to, Kar. I just want a chance and i know you feel something. I don't care if it's not love or not as strong as you feel for... Her. But it's something, Kara. And that's enough for me. Everything starts from something, Kar. Look into my eyes and Tell me honestly, you didn't feel something when we kissed. Tell me and I'll walk away."

When Kara didn't speak, Lucy leans in closer again to kiss her. And this time, Kara kisses Lucy back.

 

* * *

 

  
Lena still visits Kara every morning and still sends the girl home-cooked Lunch. They were starting to get back to normal like they used to but Kara still seems to put a gap between them, a big wall separating the two. They can still both feel the awkwardness whenever they're around each other but that didn't stop them from trying. They really wanted to go back to the way they were but some things can't just stay buried.

It was a busy day at work. The lights keep flickering and the whole building is experiencing a power difficulty. Snapper has been acting like a jerk to Kara and everyone else and all she really needs is a break. She smiles as she sees Lena heading towards her. No matter what happened between them, she is glad Lena is still in her life.

"Well this is a surprise. I guess my deliveries already expired" Kara smiles, noticing how there was no food box delivered on her table today.

Lena laughs and waves her hand off. "Please. I was meaning to ask you for lunch. Wanna head out?"

"Umm." She was about to say no as she looks at her computer and the unfinished article she is supposed to rewrite. But then she hears her belly grumble and thats all it took for her to agree. Kara beams, grabbing her bag. "Let's go!"

Lena and Kara enters the empty elevator in front of them. They stand beside each other, a gap clearly evident between them. Lena presses the elevator button.

"So, where do you wan-"

Lena was cut off when the elevator shook and suddenly stopped. They both try to hold on the walls to maintain their balance. The lights inside the elevator keeps on flickering.

"you've gotta be Kidding me!" Kara says, nervously as she fixes her eye glasses.

"What's happening?"

"It's the power. Our maintenance team can't seem to have a handle in it"

There was a crack in Kara's voice. She was fidgeting and her heart starts to beat rapidly. She was sweating and all she really wants is to get out of this elevator. The flickering lights doesn't help. It makes her nervous. All this time, she had thought she had outgrown this phobia. She was wrong.

"Kara, you're pale. Oh gosh, Kara sweetie, Relax." Lena pushes the emergency button before she puts her hands on Kara's shoulders, letting her sit down on the floor. "Hey, hey, it won't take long okay. They're gonna get us out of here"

Lena's eyes widens as she remembers something. She searches for it in her bag frantically and puts the asthma inhaler in Kara's mouth. It wasn't useful though. Kara was having a panic attack and not an asthma attack. Lena's eyes widen as she figures this out.

Kara was still panicking. She couldn't breathe. She feels like she's dying.  
Lena holds both of her hands and squeezes it. She makes sure Kara is looking at her.

"Hey, hey look at my eyes, Kara. Just stare at them. Can you do that?"

Kara nods, still finding it hard to breathe.

"Okay now.." Lena squeezes Kara's hands. "Now, follow me alright? Like you used to before"

"Breathe In, breathe out" Lena demonstrates as Kara does the same.

"Inhale, exhale, in, out, breathe in and out"

Lena rubs Kara's back, soothing her with her right hand, her left hand still holding Kara's hand. Kara starts to slow down her breathing but she still feels like dying.

"Okay. Now count with me Kara. One Mississippi, two Mississippi..."

Kara follows Lena.

"Okay, breathe like this." Lena forms an O with her mouth. "You're okay, Kara. You're okay"

Kara finally calms down and breathes normally. She didn't realize that she was crying until Lena wipes her tears and pulls her for a hug. It was the closest they've gotten since Kara forgave Lena. They both adjust their bodies to sit comfortably on the elevator floor beside each other.

Kara laughs nervously. "Thank you, Lena"

"No worries, Kara. I did that all through out high school remember? You do remember I was always the one people call and search for when you have panic attacks in school right?"

Kara smiles at the memory. "Yeah. I can't believe you even yelled at our coach once when you found out he didn't let me have a break in one of our soccer game. He was really scary but you were waaaay scarier!"

They both chuckle, remembering the look on coach Whitey's face. "Hey. In my defense you were asthmatic too! And he wasn't supposed to let you play for more than 10 minutes, remember?"

"I can't believe you still carry an asthma inhaler though" Kara teases Lena.

"Well we can never be too sure, can we? You were the one who told me its an essential"

They both laugh, remembering the day they bought probably more than ten inhalers to put in each of their bags. Different bags to be exact.

Kara turns to face Lena beside her. She sees her best friend smiling. And that made Kara smile too. Seeing Lena happy makes Kara's heart warm as always. She slowly stops laughing as she leans on Lena's shoulders.

Lena slowly stops laughing too, feeling Kara's head on her shoulders. This was the first time it felt like the Kara-Lena dynamic again after they fought. She didn't want to do anything to mess this up. She feels like all she did was mess up and she doesn't want to do that anymore.

"I... I miss my best friend, Lena" Kara whispers with a sad tone.

Lena leans her head on top of Kara's on her shoulders. "I miss you, too. Kara. I really do"

They stayed like that for a while, not talking. Just pure silence. but feeling more connected than they've been for the past few days. It was a comfortable silence. Like an unspoken understanding between them. The kind they always used to have. Not the awkward silence they've been having lately.

Their moment was interrupted when the maintenance staff finally opened the elevator doors.

"Sorry for the inconvenience" the man apologizes.

They both stand up, fixing their selves. Kara smiles at the man.

"No problem." She says at she heads out the elevator, feeling happier and free than before she got in the elevator. Somehow the heavy feeling she had was gone. Its amazing how being trapped in an elevator when you're claustrophobic can result to good outcomes too.

Lena smiles as she sees the sunlight. Of course Kara heads out right away. She was claustrophobic after all. The cell reception finally coming back, her phone beeps and she looks at the message.

> **Veronica Sinclair** ❤️  
>  _Wanna come over for Lunch? My parents are here. They wanna meet you._

 

Lena smiles. It was the first time Veronica offered to meet her parents. They've known each other for a long time but she never asked. It was a big step.

Kara turns to face Lena who was still in the elevator, smiling, looking down at her phone. She knows the text is only from one person.

But Kara had told herself she'd accept things already. And she has. She's giving Lucy and her self a chance now. She might be happy. Plus, she wouldn't let a text ruin what happened in the elevator. She misses her best friend and for a moment she had her back there.

So she brushes away all the negative feelings. She focuses at Lena, smiles and asks her even if she already knows the answer. Veronica probably needs Lena so as usual she'd go but Kara was surprisingly, now accepting with it. It stings a little but it didn't hurt as much as it used to.

That's actually what confuses Kara the most. She has been so used to burying her feelings. Not just for Lena but for everyone else. Kara had always put others first, disregarding her own self. So whenever she felt something, she hid it not wanting to be a burden to others. For years she has been Bottling everything up that sometimes she doesn't know anymore if those feelings are really gone or there are just there deep down, hidden and waiting to burst when something triggers it.

"You coming?" Kara smiles, motioning outside.

Lena hears Kara. She looks up and sees Kara's happy face. She looks down at the text again, then at Kara. Normally, she would grab the chance to be with Veronica especially since she had wanted to be introduced to her family for so long. But somehow, that didn't matter. Somehow, she didn't feel the urge to get out of here and be with Veronica. And she was perfectly okay with it. So she looks back down at her phone And types something.

> **Veronica Sinclair ❤️**  
>  Can't V. Sorry. I'm with Kara. Something important came up. See you Later though.
> 
>  

Kara was prepared to have lunch by herself. What she was not prepared however, is Lena's response.

Lena looks up to meet her gaze. She smiles and starts to walk out, clinging to Kara's arm like a best friend would.

"Of course. So where to for Lunch?"

Lena hadn't notice but Kara did. For the first time ever when given the choice between spending time with Veronica and Kara, Lena stayed. For the first time ever, she chose to stay. For the first time ever, she didn't put Veronica first. For the first time ever, Lena is happy even though she's not with Veronica. For the first time, Lena didn't drop everything to come running to Veronica's plans. For the first time ever, Lena didn't mind.

Kara's heart beats rapidly. She stares at those green eyes. It feels like she has her best friend back again. And Kara wasn't gonna complain.

 

***

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who has claustrophobia, asthma and panick attacks here? I have. It was really a struggle! 
> 
> Anyways, I read the comments friends and im so sorry I couldn't please everyone w the story. There were just many different opinions and choices where the story could go and sadly I couldnt cater to them all. Hope its still okay tho.
> 
> And guys, stop asking about the endgame. Ofcourse Karlena is!  
> I wish they wouldn't kill Lena in SG! :(


	8. Chapter 8

"No! You are not doing this to me! The last time I checked Lex, I am still the CEO of this company!!!! Hello? Hello? Agh."

Lena shouts as she throws her phone away, clenching her fist. It has been stressful for her lately. Lex, her brother, has been trying to do a hostile take over of the company. The media is making a fuzz about this and LCorp stocks are dropping as well. Somehow, Lex is putting thoughts in the minds of the board members that Lena is incapable of running LCorp. Lena has been working hard trying to stop this. She can't allow this to happen. Not now when everything seems to be finally in place in her life. She can't just give up the company she has built herself from scratch. It's not just her, it's the employees who have worked hard in her company too. She knows how Lex is. Lex doesn't care about people who have no power. All her brother thinks about is the power and money he could get through LCorp without really thinking of those he may cause harm to along the way. It's safe to say that Lena has been stressed and frustrated lately.

"Ms. luthor?"

"What!?" Lena snaps. She tries to calm herself and breathe as she sees her assistant slightly terrified. "Sorry, Jess. It's the nerves. What is it?"

"Mr. Wayne wants to set up a meeting with you regarding the condition of LCorp. As well as Mr. Queen and Palmer. Ms. Sinclair called and asked if you were still here. And Kara wanted me to tell you and I quote go home now and rest cause it's really late""

Lena sighs, looking at the phone she just threw across her table. She wasn't able to text Veronica she was staying late. She had not even noticed the time. She's tired and she just wants to go home.

"Thank you Jess. The men can wait. Please get a new phone for me with the same number. You can go home now too."

"Right away, Ms. Luthor." Jess says, wondering what can she do for her boss. Lena really looked drained.

"Ms. Luthor?"

Lena looks up from her Laptop and sees Jess' concerned face. She raises an eyebrow, waiting for her assistant to speak up.

"I know you're my boss but Kara can be scary too. She told me to remember that when she finds out you're still here." Jess stutters, looking at Lena's unreadable face.

"So um, Do you want me to tell Charlie to drive you to Ms. Sinclair's now?"

Lena sighs as she closes her laptop. She is the CEO of the company but it seems like her assistant is more afraid of Kara than her who is an actual boss. She shakes her head and smiles remembering the last time Kara scared Jess. Since Kara and Lena have been best friends even before LCorp, Kara was always there. Everyone knows Kara has a free pass in the building. Kara somehow befriended Jess. Lena didn't even know they text each other and were friends until that day when she noticed how distracted her assistant was. Later on, she found out that it was because Kara had gotten mad at her for forgetting Lena was allergic to shrimp. Something that was in Lena's lunch that Jess ordered. Kara basically lectured Jess about it. It was a scary experience for her assistant.

"Yes, plea-" Lena pauses, realizing she was smiling despite being stressed out because of that hazy memory.

"-you know what, never mind. tell Charlie to drive me to Kara's right now. I'll be down shortly"

"No need, Jess." Lena and Jess turn and see Kara smiling by the door.

"Kara?" Lena immediately stands, heading over to Kara. She gives a nod at Jess, signaling her assistant to go home. "What are you doing here."

Kara smiles at Jess before hugging Lena. "Well, i'm here to make sure Jess did her job. And I'm glad she did"

"You do know her job is to do what I tell her to do and not what you tell her, right?"

"Psh!" Kara settles on the couch, Lena doing the same thing as her. "Same thing. How's everything, Lena?"

Lena's smile turns into a frown. She doesn't look at Kara and lets out a deep breath instead. "I don't know if I can do this, Kara. Maybe Lex is right"

Kara shakes her head at the site of Lena like this. She never liked Lex. She could say she didn't see this coming but she saw this coming. Lex has always been a jerk. She just tolerated his presence for Lena.

Clearly, this thing with the company is taking a toll on her best friend. Lena needs to Relax! She lights up as an idea comes to mind. She pulls out her phone and texts a bunch of people for her to pull this off.

Kara smiles, standing and pulling Lena along. "Forget going home and rest. We are going on a roadtrip!"

 

* * *

 

They've been on the road for hours now. Lena had some sleep while Kara had none since she was driving. She offered to drive but Kara still wont let Lena know where they are going.

"Just trust me, okay? It's the weekend so it's perfect. No work"

"Kara, that doesn't apply to me especially now th-"

"Especially now that you have to relax." Kara cuts Lena off, pulling over as she parks. "We're here"

Kara pulls Lena with here. Clearly the blonde is excited. Lena doesn't exactly know where HERE is. But she's with Kara so it's alright. She lets her best friend take the lead in this road trip. After all, it's been awhile since they've had one. Lena sees Kara talking to the man who seems to be Kara's friend. Before She sees Kara thank the man, He leads them to a backyard which seems to be a chaos. There were plates everywhere, tvs, bottles, broken computers, car parts. They were basically scraps.

What caught Lena's eyes though was the artistic wall in front of her. There were big words on it in a shouting bubble like the ones you see in comic books. Words like ex-lover, mistress, sister-in-law, backstabbing bitch, brother, mother-in-law, classmates, professor, fuck boy, husband, boss, clients and so many more other words. It was a huge wall after all.

Lena turns to Kara, raising her eyebrow. Clearly confused.

Kara rolls her eyes and sighs as she gets one plate from the corner. "You see that wall? That's where you release your anger, Lena. Your emotions. Like this. Ahhhhh!!!"

Kara shouts at the top of her lungs as she throws the plate to the wall. Lena bursts out laughing.

"Come on, Kara. That's ridiculous. You look silly!"

Kara crosses her arms on her chest and pouts. "I'm not going anywhere until you try it"

"Fine!" Lena gets some plates. She throws them and shouts, still laughing.

**_AAAHHHHHHHHH!!_ **   
**_AAAHHHHHHHHH!!_ **   
**_AAAHHHHHHHHH!!_ **

Lena was now screaming like there's no tomorrow. She was shouting like she's the only person in this world. She hadn't notice when exactly she stopped laughing and started throwing more and more plates at the wall, targeting the word brother.

She stops and tries to stop panting. Kara comes closer to her and rubs her back. Surprisingly, that wasn't useless. She feels like she finally let out all the anger she had been keeping in. Not just about the recent events but also all the negative emotions she's ever had since she was young. She somehow felt lighter. Better.

She turns to Kara, finally breathing normally. Kara smiles at her and pulls her for a hug. "See. It's effective. Let's go!"

 

* * *

 

 

The next thing Lena knows is they're in this Filipino restaurant ordering some of its exotic food.

"Kara I don't think I can" Lena gulps, looking at all the food in front of her.

"It's easy come on!" Kara gets the Balut and peels it off. She shows Lena how to eat it.

"Okay. At least that tastes okay." Lena points to another plate. "What's this?"

Kara takes some and eats them. "They're chicken intestines they're really delicious. And these are fried frogs I guess"

"What!? Kara I won't eat this!!"

"Lena, just try them. Remember you said before you wanted to try some exotic food?"

Lena rolls her eyes and gulps as she forces herself to try the food. She smiles at Kara realizing the food is quite delicious to be honest.

"See!" Kara smirks and whispers, "Now when I say go, you run as fast as you could to the car, okay? GO!!"

Kara stands and runs as she hears a confused Lena asking "what?"

She stops and pulls Lena. "Dine and Dash!"

They were both running as fast as they could, laughing as they hear the waiters shouting after them. Kara immediately turns in the engine and drives.

"Woah! I've always wanted to try that." Lena pants as she turns to look at Kara

"I know" Kara whispers, grinning, her eyes fixed on the road"

Lena sees her best friend smile. She can't believe how much fun she's having right now when only a few hours ago, she was so stressed out. She smiles as her gaze are locked on Kara's face. There's an unfamiliar feeling in her stomach. Her heart starts to beat faster. And the noise seems to fade. She couldn't really explain it. All she knows is she's here sitting on the front seat, looking at her best friend, feeling like this. All she knows is she's happy. She really is.

She realizes that her best friend is really beautiful. Even without sleep, Kara still manages to pull off an angelic face. She sees Kara's lips moving as if saying something. But the sounds were just blocked off her mind. All she sees is Kara smiling and feeling like she wants Kara to smile like that always. Every time. Kara turns to Face Lena.

"Lena? Did you hear me? I said We're here."

* * *

 

Lena watches Kara hug and talk to someone she seems to be close with by the bridge. Lena frowns at the sight of this. She wonders if Kara is dating this guy. Lena usually approved with the guys Kara had dated before but she doesn't like this guy. She doesn't like this guy near Kara. Although she doesn't know why but she feels a little jeal- No. She feels a little bit uncomfortable about this guy being close to Kara.

She heads over to Kara at the bridge as she sees her best friend signaling her to come over. Kara was putting some harness on herself and the man was helping her. She felt her stomach twitched as she sees the man touching Kara.

"Here you go."

"What's this?" Lena asks, confused, as she takes the Harness from Kara's hands.

She looks down and steps back as she realizes what Kara is trying to do. Lena has fear of heights. It's her greatest phobia. And seeing the distance from the bridge to the bottom of the river made Lena want to puke.

"No, Kara. Not this"

Kara ignores this as she gets the harness and puts it on Lena while her friend attaches their harness on the bridge. Despite objecting earlier, Lena let Kara put the harness on her.

Kara holds Lena's hand pulling her closer as she walks to edge of the bridge.  
"Do you trust me?"

"Yes but-"

Kara shakes her head as she steps on top of the bridge's deck.  
"no buts. Do you trust me?"

Kara needed not to ask. Of course Lena trusts her. She trusts Kara with all her life. And Kara has been the only person in Lena's entire existence that hasn't broken her trust. They say trust is earne

Lena would have never stepped on that deck. But seeing those blue eyes looking straight at her, asking the question like her life depended on it, Lena felt the urge to follow Kara. So she stepped on the deck, not looking down, her heart beating rapidly, her hands shaking and knees trembling.

Lena looks at Kara. She sees Kara smiling, slowly turning to face her. When their eyes met the blonde's smile turns wider. Lena's heart beats even faster than ever seeing Kara like this.

"Trust me." Kara whispers while squeezing Lena's hand, smiling. And before Lena could response she pulls Lena as she jumps.

_**AAAAHHHHHH** _   
_**AAAAHHHHHH** _   
_**AAAHHHHHHHH** _   
_**AAAHHHHHHH** _

Both of the girls were screaming at the top of their lungs as they experience what Bungee Jumping truly feels like. Lena had initially thought she would feel scared to the point she might want to die but that's not what happened.

Her heart flutters as a memory keep replaying on her mind. It was the first time Kara and Lena met when they were still young. Lena had just saved Kara from a bully. When Kara asked her why, Lena said it's because She and Kara are gonna be friends And when they're friends, when Kara jumps, she jumps. Lena smiles at that memory, somehow forgetting she has fear of heights. She finds it amazing how she is doing the literal thing of what she said to Kara on their first meeting right now. She doesn't know if it's the adrenaline or the memory but she is feeling extra blissful right now.

"When You Jump, I jump!" Lena shouts, smiling at Kara, still holding each other's hands, as the elastic cord attached to them keeps moving up and down. She doesn't really know if Kara heard it. She doesn't care. She just had to say it. To shout it.

* * *

 

By late evening, they have reached National City already. Both girls were very tired and exhausted. So they decided that Lena should just sleep over at Kara's. As soon as they arrived in Kara's apartment, they run and settle for the couch, wanting to Lie down.

"Thanks, Kara. For keeping me distracted from thinking how right my brother is" Lena whispers.

Kara sighs, not answering Lena, leaving her confused. Kara stands and heads to the kitchen. She gets a spoon and the ice cream on the fridge.

"Mint-Pistachio ice cream?" Kara hands Lena the tub of ice cream and the spoon as she sits back at the couch.

"I thought you don't eat this anymore"

Kara smiles. "Some things never change, I guess."

When Kara heard about the LCorp news, she can't help but supply a stock of ice cream again in her fridge, thinking that Lena might want need it in the next few days. And she was right.

"Lena..." Kara starts to speak in a more serious tone. Staring at lena's green eyes intensely. "Lex is wrong. You can do it. I remember you saying before that you've always wanted to try exotic food, dine and dash and many other things but you knew you could never do it. But today, Lena, you did. Even when it's your greatest fear, you did."

Kara holds Lena's hands and squeezes them as she continues.

"That's what I wanted to point out today Lena. You are more than capable of doing the things you've dreamed of. And I wanted to show you that even though no matter how much you fear it, you are still capable of doing it. No matter how much you fear Lena, how much you doubt yourself, you can do it. Lex couldn't have been more wrong."

"Karaa... I... Thank you" Lena whispers, pulling Kara for a hug. She's still overwhelmed by Kara's words. Somehow, she feels a sudden courage, a strength. Somehow, since Kara Danvers believes she can, she believes it too.

What Lena doesn't tell Kara is that it's only because of her. What she doesn't tell Kara is she did everything, that she was able to do those things because Kara was there. What Lena doesn't tell Kara is that she could have never done it without her. What she doesn't tell Kara is that she's never gonna make it, that she's never gonna be strong enough for the next days, that Lex would probably be right without Kara.Because whether Lena admits it or not, lately Kara had been her source of happiness. Kara had been her source of calmness. Lately, Kara had been her source of strength, of courage. But she doesn't tell her that.

As they finish off their Ice cream, Kara shakes her head, still smiling, realizing that despite how tired she is right now, it has been one of the happiest days of her life. Before they left LCorp, she had texted the friends she'd needed to in order to pull off her plan. First, she wanted Lena to release all that anger she's been carrying. Then when she took Lena to that Filipino restaurant, she sneaked off to pay their bill in advance to her waitress friend there. She told them to pretend to run after them so that Lena would believe they actually dined and dashed. She took Lena bungee jumping trying to prove to Lena that her fears could be conquered. Despite being exhausted, she spent the day trying to cheer Lena up. Trying to make her best friend happy. But really, it was Lena who made Kara happy. She may or may not have feelings for Lena but spending time with her is still Kara's favorite past time.

* * *

 

Lena and Kara are still up talking and laughing. They have finished two tubs if ice cream already and Kara was getting the third one when Lena noticed something at the couch.

"Kara, did you spill something on the couch?"

Kara switches another light on to make the room brighter. She looks at what Lena was pointing at.  
"Oh. That's just paint."

"I didn't know you're painting again."

With the room brighter, Lena looks around and finally notices the messy corner of the living room. The art work she made and the one Lucy made was there along with the other materials. Lena also notices some splattered paint on the walls and hand prints.

"Wow, your apartment's kind of a mess."

Lena sees Kara turn to the walls, realizing what Lena had meant. She hears Kara laugh genuinely. And what stings the most is that she thinks kara is actually blushing. "Ah. Silly, Lucy. We were painting here last time and she was so hyped and all we made a mess everywhere"

 

"Oh. Lucy. Lane." Lena says, coldly, thinking about that girl who was dancing with Kara at the bar. She clenches her fist, not really knowing why she feels the urge to hit something.

"Yeah. Lucy remember General Lane's daughter? I made this and..." She points at the other Canvas. "She made that. Seriously she's like a child. I think Lucy has too much energy sometimes"

"Oh. Oh. Yeah. I remember. Good for her then. Careful, the way you talk about her I might think you two are dating" Lena teases, trying to hide her disapproval.

"We are. Didn't I mention it to you? Oh my gosh I totally thought I did"

"Oh. Oh. Oh, you two are dating. Oh. Yeah. Cool."

Kara nods, smiling as she hands Lena the ice cream but Lena shakes her head. Lena is still using her cold tone of voice as she stands.

"No. I'm full now. Lost my appetite. I think I'm gonna sleep now"

 

Lena tried to hide the irritation in her voice but she guessed that wasn't the case. She just doesn't want to talk about Lucy and how she had been in Kara's apartment. And how they are dating. She doesn't want to talk about Lucy at all. Lena doesn't know why but she never liked Lucy. Ever since she saw her, there's this unfamiliar feeling that is building up. Whatever it is, Lena doesn't like it. She doesn't like feeling this way and she hates it. But Kara doesn't need to know that so Lena adds that up to the list of what she doesn't tell Kara.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> exams are over. Yaay back to writing. Sorry this is a bit rushed. I'll make the next chapter better, i promise. Thank you for all the comments. It was really nice knowing what you guys think. Anyways, who's excited for the next SG ep? Cause I sure as hell am!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for late update. This chapter brings you Kara's birthday.
> 
> i'll edit the errors tommorrow bcs its 2:58AM here and im really sleepy. :)

To say that Lena is tired is a bit of an understanding. Lena and Veronica have been arguing quite a lot lately. It used to be a normal occurrence for them before but not when Veronica started to date Lena exclusively. So when they start to argue again, it was really draining the energy out of Lena. They've been arguing from the smallest matters such as the food they were gonna have for dinner to big things like the meeting they were supposed to have for their joint business Veronica and Lena had planned out months ago.

"Lena, this is really important. Our potential investors are there in Metropolis. We were supposed to fly out there yesterday." Veronica says to Lena, clearly frustrated why her girlfriend won't go.

"V, I cant.. I know it's really unprofessional of me but-"

"Then let's go!" Veronica cuts Lena off. "You said it yourself. It's unprofessional Lena. And we have planned this for months!"

"I know. I know.." Lena comes closer, taking Veronica's hands, squeezing it. "Believe me if I could, I would. But I can't V. Kara-"

Veronica sighs and before Lena could even finish her sentence she pulls away and takes a few steps back.

"Kara" she scoffs

Lena looks at her girlfriend and gives her a confused look, seeing how Veronica reacted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lena asks.

"That Bit-" Veronica shakes her head, clearly irritated. "Know what, I'm gonna go and deal with the investors myself! Call me if you change your mind!"

And before Lena could even react, Veronica's gone, slamming the door behind her.

If it was Any other day, Lena would have gone with Veronica. But not today. Not on Kara's birthday. They've been celebrating it every year and today was no exception. So she cleared her plans and saved the date.

* * *

 

Kara was cooking breakfast when she hears a knock on the door.

"Lena? What, what's that?" Kara asks, giving Lena a confused look as she stares at the pile of potstickers with a candle on a plate Lena is holding.

Lena comes in and beams at Kara, closing the door and heading directly to the Kitchen counter.

"You didn't think I'd forget. Did you?"

Kara's eyes widen at what Lena meant. Because although, Lena didn't forget she did. She has been too preoccupied with making her relationship with Lucy work, with maintaining her 'moving on progress from Lena, with Alex' girlfriend problems, with trying to help out everyone else's problems actually that she completely forgot about her birthday.

"But apparently you did." Lena frowns, seeing kara's reaction.

"Oh my gosh, Lena" she takes the plate and puts it on the table. She pulls her best friend for a tight hug as she whispers, "thank you."

She pulls away and looks at her improvised cake. She laughs because every year, Lena manages to create a unique cake out of her favorite dishes. Kara loves food but the one thing she didn't like was cakes. She never celebrated her birthday with cakes. It was weird but it was her tradition.

"We totally have to take a pict-"

Kara was interrupted by another knock. Since the girls weren't able to lock the door awhile ago, the person enters and heads towards them.

"Kar?"

Kara jumps and squeals, running to Her girlfriend and pulling her for a hug.

"Lucceee!!!"

Lucy smiles. She then notices who's behind Kara. Lena looks at her intensely and she does the same. She ignores Lena's dagger looks and kisses Kara passionately, noticing Lena look away when she does.

 

"Happy Birthday, Kara!" Lucy hands her the birthday cake with a candle on top of it.

Kara looks at it. Then she looks at Lena who just shrugs her shoulders. She turns to Lucy and see the smile on her girlfriend's face. She just couldn't turn that smile upside down. And that would definitely happen if she tells Lucy she doesn't eat cakes. So she takes the cake instead and put it on top of the table, just beside Lena's potsticker cake.

"Oh. I haven't introduced you officially." Kara beams at them. "Lena, Lucy. Lucy, Lena"

**_Diing_ **  
**_Diing_ **  
**_Diing_ **

"That's my phone. It must be Alex. I'll be right back" Kara says as she heads to her room.

Lena and Lucy stare at each other. Examining the other from head to toe.

"Ms. Lane" Lena says in her icy cold voice she uses in board meetings that scare the old men away. But that doesn't work with Lucy. "I've heard good things about you"

Instead of getting intimidated, Lucy smirks as she nods, acknowledging Lena's presence. "Ms. Luthor. I wish I could say the same"

If Lena was taken aback by Lucy's statement, she sure as hell didn't show it. And before she could even respond, Kara is back standing in front of them, lighting up like the sunshine she is. Clearly oblivious of the tension the two girls in front of her are throwing unto each other. And wether Lucy or Lena knows it, both are trying to mark their territory, maintaining its hold in whatever they think they have. But neither Lucy nor Lena is aware of what they're trying to do and of course Kara Danvers isn't as well.

The staring contest that the two women were doing only stopped when Kara lights the two candles in front of them.

Lena smiles at the sight of Kara being happy on her birthday. "Make a wish, sweetie"

Kara closes her eyes. Now she has to wish for something. First, she wishes for her sister Alex to have all the happiness in this world. For her relationship with Maggie to work. Because if anyone deserves it, it's Alex. She wishes for Jonn to let himself be finally happy with Megan and not worry about the future. Kara wishes that Mike's business may flourish more and that his path to change for the better may continue. She wishes for Winn and James to continue the company they started despite everyone else saying it's risky. She knows that it's James and Winn's passion. Kara wishes for Eliza to be happy despite Jeremiah being gone Kara wishes for her dead parents that wherever they are now, she hopes that even just a little bit they are proud of her. She wishes for LCorp to continue its success and Lena's happiness as well. She wishes for Lucy's dreams to come true since she applied for her dream job already. She wishes for Clark and Lois relationship to be full of love and happiness.

She opens her eyes. Basically, Kara wishes for everyone first but herself. And when she was about to blow, she finally remembers it's her birthday and she should at least wish even just one for herself.

So she stops herself from blowing the candles, smiles and closes her eyes again. She wishes for Lena. No. She did not Intend to think that. No. No. No. She can't. Her heart starts to fluster again. She can't be thinking that. That shouldn't be her first thought when thinking about what she wishes for. Not when she has all she is supposed to need right in front of her. Not when Lucy is here.

Kara breathes deep, trying to relax herself because there's no way she is going to have another panic attack right now. When she is finally sure she's okay. She smiles and forgets about giving herself one wish. She opens her eyes and blow he candles in front of her.

"So are you gonna eat that?" Lena smirks, teasing Kara, knowing full well that Kara doesn't like eating cakes.

Kara gives her a playful warning look that Lena understands the meaning to be 'shut up or your dead'

Lena silently laughs at this but Lucy notices although she doesn't comment about it. She then turns to Kara and holds her hand.

"Sooo what are we going to do today? I got something planned!" Lucy winks at Kara, pulling her closer to her.

Kara fidgets, looking at Lucy then at Lena. She doesn't know what to do. Lena and Kara had this ritual. A tradition on Kara's birthday which obviously Lucy didn't know about. Kara still wants to do this tradition but obviously her girlfriend planned something for her birthday and she didn't want to put that to waste.

Seeing Kara's face, Lena stood up from where she was sitting, trying to hide her disappointment especially since she cleared everything for this day to be with Kara. But clearly, Kara was torn and she didn't want to make it harder for the blonde.

So Lena cleared her throat before she speaks. "I gotta go anyways. See you later Kara." She hugs kara and whispers, "Happy Birthday"

Before leaving, she gives Kara a sad smile, trying to hide what she's feeling and hoping that her best friend will have the best day yet.

* * *

 

Lucy and Kara ended the day having dinner in a fancy restaurant with a band serenading Kara.

"Lucy, you didn't have to" Kara says when they were finally alone as her blood flushes.

Lucy just smiles and stands, pulling Kara to the restaurant's garden. It was a beautiful sight to behold. There were lights illuminating under the dark sky. The smell of the flowers make it even better. The fountain in the middle of the garden and the shed they are under make it even more romantic.  
Kara gasps, taking in the moment.

She looks at Lucy intimately and Lucy rests her forehead on Kara's as they stare at each other.

"Yes, Kara. I do have to do this." Lucy takes Kara hand and puts it on top of her heart. "You deserve to be a princess and be swept off your feet, Kar."

Kara can feel the tears accumulating in her eyes as she lives in this moment. As the tears start to fall, Lucy wipes it with her thumb, cupping Kara's cheeks, their forehead still resting on each other's.

"I love you" Lucy whispers.

And she sees the shock in Kara's teary eyes. She sees the panic followed by it. Ad before Kara could even respond, she pulls the blonde closer for a passionate kiss.

They have been dating for a while but Lucy knew she still did not have Kara's heart. Not completely. She knew Kara was just not playing with her emotions. Lucy knew what she signed up for and She also knows that Kara loves her. That is a fact. But Lucy also knows a part of Kara will never love her the way she loved Lena. Loves Lena, maybe? But knowing Kara Danvers loves her period. No matter what way it was, is enough for Lucy Lane. She just wanted Kara to know she loves her. She doesn't care if Kara doesn't say it back. And she wont let Kara have the chance to. She won't make it hard for Kara if she's still not ready.

After the kiss in the garden, Lucy drives Kara home. The drive on the way there was accompanied by complete silence. Kara didn't know what to say or do. It was the first time Lucy had said Those three words. When they were in the garden, Kara was teary eyed since she felt so special and she didn't think she deserved it. Not when that morning, it wasn't Lucy's name that popped in Kara's mind when she thought about what she wished for. Kara felt bad because she was feeling so happy in Lucy's arms and she knows she loves lucy but why couldn't she say it back. She hates herself because Kara and Lena are finally in good terms and she has Lucy but that morning, like an addict in recovery, she had slipped up and had relapsed for a split second, thinking about Lena. But now she had brushed it off. It was nothing. She's here with Lucy now and that morning was just a moment of weakness.

The car stops in front of The building of Kara's apartment. They stayed idle for a moment before kara breaks the silence.

"Luce..." She whispers, looking at nothing specific, straight ahead. She sighs and turns to face Lucy.

Lucy smiles before facing Kara, cupoing her girlfriend's cheeks. "Happy Birthday, Kar"

Lucy passionately kisses Kara and that's when Kara understood the unspoken language between them. That what Lucy is trying to say is that it's alright if she couldn't say it back. Still, it doesn't change how bad Kara feels. Because no matter how badly she wants to, she just couldn't. Maybe not yet.

* * *

 

Kara was getting her keys from her bag when she sees Lena on her door step from afar. The raven haired was pacing trying to knock on the door but hesitating the last minute. When Lena finally decided she wont and would just leave instead, she turns her back and bumps to the person she was supposed to be visiting just now. There in front of her was Kara Danvers with eyebrows raised.

"Kara!" Lena exclaims. "What are you doing here?"

Kara laughs. Well because the universe really wants to mess with her. Just a while ago, she was thinking of Lucy and her 'relapse' moment this morning which was about Lena then boom Lena is here in front of her. "Well, this is my apartment isn't it?"

Lena looks at Kara's apartment door and realizes the mistake in her question.

"Yeah, ofcourse. Yeah" she waves her hand off. How could she act Like Kara right now? She is Lena Luthor. She should act like Lena Luthor.

Lena takes in a deep breath, putting herself together. She looks at her watch and then pulls Kara with her as she goes. "The day is not yet finished. We are going somewhere."

* * *

 

 

The next thing Kara knew is that they were right in front of her parents grave. Her biological mom and dad.

"Lenaaa..." Kara whispers, thankful for Lena that they were still able to do their yearly ritual. Alex didn't even know about this tradition.

Lena smiles as she looks at her watch.  
"It's 11:49. Technically it's still your birthday. You still have 11 minutes with them."

"Lenaa.." Kara doesn't know what to say. Her tears starting to form.

Lena kisses Kara's head, rubbing her back. "Shhh. I'll leave you to it"

When Lena's out of sight, Kara sits down in front of her parents grave, tears start to flow.

"Mo..mom.. Dad. I, I, i miss you." Kara starts to whimper. "i miss you everyday and I wish you could have been here. I wish I could burry myself into your arms every time I get scared or hurt.. I wish i could tell you everyday how much I love you mom dad. I... I miss you and... It's still there mom, dad. It's still here.." Kara pokes her heart using her finger. "The void... It's still here mom. Dad. The void you left... And I... And i dont know if it will ever be gone... I dont know if ill ever feel not alone again mom, dad. Not left behind... Sometimes i.. I just need you.. And i miss you so much it...it hurts"

Kara whimpered as she continued talking to her parents. Every year, it has always been like this. She would spend some time talking to her parents while Lena would wait in the car. She would cry, mourn and grieve. She would feel it all over again. The loss of her parents and how she's left behind. But it would be all worth it, even just for a day, feeling her parents right there with her is always worth the pain it brings.

 

* * *

  
Kara sees Lena looking at her, leaning on the hood of the car. She jerks her head, asking Lena to come join her. Before Lena heads over to her though, she sees her best friend get something from the car.

 

"Hey." Lena whispers, handing a handkerchief to Kara, sitting beside her.

Kara leans on Lena's shoulder, clinging on her arms. "Thank you, Lena."

Lena rubs Kara's head, trying to comfort Kara. She then pulls out a box. Kara who was still leaning on Lena's shoulder stares at it. Lena opens it slowly, revealing the 2-layered necklace with the crescent moon pendant and a small star on both of its layers.

Lena picks it up with her palm "I know it's not the same with The one you lost when we were young. But it's close enough. I don't know, we could return it if you hate it."

Kara straightens up as she sees this. She remembers the necklace her parents gave her. The one she never took off. But this one time she did, she lost it. This devastated her. Kara and Lena tried everything to find it but they failed. It was a symbol of her parents' love for her. A symbol that her love of her parents were unmeasurable and wes beyond the starts and the moon. Beyond the galaxies. And now, seeing the replica, it brought back many memories with her parents at their used to be happy home and life. Memories, both good and bad. It was something she would always carry around her as a reminder and she couldn't thank Lena enough for this.

Lena puts it on Kara 's neck, tugging her hair aside.

"Lena.. I don't know how to... This.."

"When we were young we always thought about replacing it with a replica. But we couldn't afford it back then. I don't know why we haven't even thought about it these past few years"

Seeing Kara loved her gift makes Lena happy. Desoite being disappointed earlier in the morning, all Lena wanted was for Kara to have her moment with her parents. Lena wanted to give Kara something that would remind her of who she is. Who she has always been. A symbol of love faith and strength. She wanted Kara to have a piece of home. Of unconditional love. That's why Lena tried everything to get a replica of that necklace. Though Kara's eyes show the tears and the pain her best friend have endured in losing her parents, thiose blue eyes also show how strong Kara has been all along. Lena can't help but admire the beauty that is right in front of her. She can't help but admire how despite everything, Kara is still....  ** _Kara._**

and all Lena can think right now is for Kara to remain this happy  all the time. All that Lena can think right now is to do everything not to cause Kara such tears as like this. Like the ones she had previously caused. All Lena could think about is to comfort her best friend, to make her feel safe, feel protected. To make her feel home and not left behind because Lena knows. Lena knows that despite the abundant amount of people in Kara's life, Kara still feels alone. Lena understands this because she feels the same way. Lena knows that despite everyone in Kara's life, her best friend is still scared. Kara is still scared that one day, people would be taken away from her just like what happened to her parents. And Lena hates herself for letting Kara feel that way in the past. Seeing Kara right now, all she wants is to give Kara the world because her best friend deserves it more than anyone. all she wants is to...............  _no,no,no, it can't be. I can't be...._

"Lena.. It's.. It's beautiful... It's just like what they give me" kara says, looking at her necklace, touching it. "It even feels the same. I.."

Kara looks up at Lena, gazing at those addicting green eyes. "Tha..thank you, Lena. This.. This is the best."

Lena smiles at Kara and pulls her best friend closer, the blonde's head leaning again on Lena's shoulder. Kara holds her necklace, feeling her heart beat at the same time.

 

_"You're the best"_

Kara whispers, not letting Lena hear her as she closes her eyes. Her heart feeling so warm. This moment with Lena, right here, in front of her parents' grave, was simple. Nothing grand about it yet it's one she would definitely remember forever, one She would cherish in her heart forever.

Kara knows she is in a dangerous ground. She knows she should pull away and go home. She knows one wrong move and she might find herself in a 'relapse' again. But it's her birthday. She wants to have this one day, not thinking about anything, not trying to control everything.

So she doesn't pull away. She wants to have this one moment where she just sits here under the sky with Lena, with her parents and just be... **_Here._**

 

"Happy Birthday, Kara" Lena whispers under the night sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi friends. If you haven't already, you might want to read this one shot I wrote titled MY LENA :)
> 
> Anyways, Im sorry for the late update. Our feasibility study and thesis occupied my time these past weeks. Here's another chapter hope you don't hate it that much. It's my first time to write again for weeks.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the errors ill fix them when I wake up super sleepy.
> 
> Sorry for a lena veronica centric chapter too but this is just quick and this NEEDED to happen.

Ever since Kara's birthday, Lena couldn't stop thinking about Kara, about what she wanted that night, about her feelings. Since then, Lena wanted to stop all these emotions she's been having. She shouldn't be feeling this way. For one, she's with Veronica. Secondly, Kara and Lena have been through enough rough patches. She definitely doesn't want to add more. Besides, she doesn't even exactly know what she feels. No, she decides. She doesn't feel anything more than friendship with Kara because it had always been Veronica. It's always gonna be Veronica.

And just like that, Veronica appeared in front of her like the universe had just read her mind.

"V." Lena says. "I thought you won't be back till next week?"

Veronica sighs "well the investors backed out."

"What do you mean the investors backed out?" Lena asks with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"We didn't get the deal Lena. You should have been there instead of here. Instead of spending more time with Kara!"

And the moment Veronica mentioned Kara's name, Lena stiffens. "DONT. Don't drag Kara into this"

"Why not?!" Veronica scoffs. "You've been spending more time with her. We haven't even touched each other for months, Lena. We haven't been intimate!"

Veronica steps close towards Lena but making sure there is still significant distance between them. She takes in a deep breath as she shakes her head. "I love you, Lena. It's like you're not here with me anymore. Do you... Do you still even love me?"

Lena could hear the desperate plea in Veronica's voice begging her to say yes. Lena wanted to say yes. After all, this is what she wanted, isn't it? But why? Why does she feel like there is something stopping her?

"Of course, v." Lena holds Veronica's hands, squeezing them, assuring her. "Im your girlfriend and Im always here with you."

Veronica pulls her hands away, steps back and shakes her head, looking down. "That's not what I asked"

* __ **riiing  
** *riiing  
*riiing

Lena answers her cellphone. She looks at Veronica, covering the mouth piece in her phone.

"Im sorry. It's An emergency. LCorp. I.." Lena hesitates but with where the conversation was going, she had to go. "I gotta go, v. We'll talk later"

 

* * *

 

 

"Winn, thank you for doing this. Seriously, I do not know where the HR get those IT guys. I wish i could recruit you here for Lcorp" Lena says to Winn as he fixes the complications in LCorp's systems.

Winn stops what he was doing and looks at Lena curiously. "Okay, what's bothering you? Come on, tell me. What did veronica do again?"

"What? Nothing." She looks at Winn who clearly doesn't believe her. "Fine. She asked me if I still love her."

"And??" Winn asks, raising his eyebrow.

"And I don't know Winn. Honestly, I don't know. Give me a bankrupt company and ill fix it. But these feelings thing are really confusing for me!"

Lena was basically shouting now, letting out all her frustration.

"Kara" Winn whispers.

Lena calms down, not really sure of ehat Winn just said. "What?"

"It's because of Kara, isn't it? You love her."

Lena turns her back from Winn and looks at the view from her office. Winn's last sentence struck a nerve in her.

"The look you have" Winn adds. " i know that look, Lena. That was the look I had before I met Lyra. That's the look of someone who's in love with Kara Danvers."

Lena shakes her head, still looking at the horizon from her office. "I dont... Know. I can't."

Lena turns around, facing Winn again. "I might just end up hurting Kara. She doesnt deserve that. And I have a girlfriend Winn. Someone whom I have loved for the longest years. And i, i owe it to her to try to fix this. To fix us."

"You don't owe her anything, Lena! You're being unfair. To her. To kara. And most especially to yourself. You can't just be with her because that's what's familiar for you"

"And what do you want me to do? Break up with veronica and come running to Kara when she is happy with Lucy and When Im not really sure how I feel? Cause That is what's unfair! I have to try to fix things Winn. I have to. It's what's right."

 

* * *

 

 

Veronica can feel Lena drifting away. She had felt Lena falling out of love with her everyday. But she didn't do anything. She watched it happen and that's what she regrets the most. Now she couldn't just go down without a fight. She had to do something before she losses Lena completely. She was ready to do anything.

 

* * *

 

When Lena got back, everything in Veronica's apartment feels romantic. There are candles everywhere and flower petals too. Lena sees Veronica and her girlfriend immediately takes her hand. For some reason, Lena feels anxious. Her heart was pounding for all the wrong reasons.

"lena." Veronica says with a crack in her voice, holding lena's hands. "Im sorry it took me long enough to realize that I love you. But you have loved me for years, Lena. You have stayed and fought for me without having any assurance. And now I am willing to do the same Lena. Im hoping it isn't too late to show you how much I love you. Will you.."

Veronica went down on one knee and popped the question. "Will you marry me?"

 

Lena pulls Veronica up, letting her stand. Veronica and Lena stare at each other for a few minutes. Lena's tears started to fall. She had imagined this moment for a long time. She had wished for this moment to happen a thousand times. But in those dreams, she was happy, full of bliss. Now she feels sorry. She feels like a disappointment. She feels like a fraud.

She pushes the ring on Veronica's hand, closing her girlfriend's palm. She squeezes it with both hands wrapping it as tears stream down her face. She sees Veronica smile shyly, a hint of acceptance in her eyes

"But it was too late, isn't it?"

Lena couldnt do anything but cry. She was supposed to try and fix this. But Veronica proposed and she couldn't do that to Veronica or herself. Whatever feelings she might or might not have for Kara, that doesn't erase the fact that she doesn't feel as much as she did for Veronica anymore.

"I.. Im" Lena whimpers. "Im sorry V"

Veronica smiles, cupping Lena's cheeks as she wipes her tears away. "I knew this was coming anyways. I knew I had lost you at some point. That's why I decided to be exclusive. Back then, I already knew I was losing you. I'm sorry Lena. I'm sorry for holding you back. But.. But I had to try."

Veronica pulls Lena for a hug. Lena hugs her tightly for the last time as tears continue to flow from Lena's eyes.

"Im sorry for this being too late.." Veronica whispers between their hug. "But I think this is the closure our relationship was always meant to have."

Lena nods, trying to stop herself from crying in Veronica's embrace. "The closure we need."

Lena had always thought that she would always choose Veronica no matter what. Yes, that made her a bad friend but it made her the best girlfriend. Like the proposal, she had also imagined this situation a lot of times. She feared for this moment to happen. She dreaded this day in her dreams. But like a lot of things she thought, she was wrong. It's not always gonna be Veronica and she did not dread this day. Yes, it is bitter sweet. It feels sad and heartbreaking for something that lasted years to end. But at the same time, it was like a breath of fresh air too. Like Lena Was a bird, finally free. A bird, spreading its wings, learning how to fly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUPERCORP HAS RISEN YOU GUYS!!! ❤️


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodnight! Another chap before I doze off.

Kara stares at her reflection on the mirror yet she sees nothing of herself. She looks at herself and sees the necklace Lena gave her. She stares at it and she sees the image of her mom tucking her into bed every night, reading the Little Prince to her. Kara sees her dad making breakfast for her and her mom. She sees her parents beside her, tickling a little Kara Danvers. She touches her necklace and she feels her parents' love. But she couldn't look at those necklace without reminding her of Lena. It wasn't just her parents that she sees. She also sees Lena, holding her at her mom and dad's grave on her birthday. She sees herself in Lena's arms feeling like she's on the safest place. She sees herself that night, allowing herself to feel all those things she should have felt for Lucy. 

Her conscience had been eating her up so she has been spending more and more time with her girlfriend, thinking that whatever feelings she'd brought back up that night would just drown themselves. She has been avoiding Lena too. They've been texting and calling each other on a regular basis but Kara avoided personal contact. She was the worst liar and lately whenever Lena's around, she couldn't act straight even just for a minute. Somehow, Lena's presence make her really anxious. Although she wonders why Lena hasn't even noticed that Kara had been avoiding her. Lena usually notices by now. Maybe LCorp had been occupying her best friend's time. 

What Kara didn't know though is that Lena hadn't notice because she herself have been avoiding the blonde as well. She hasn't told Kara about the break up. She was not planning to. As each day passes by, Lena is realizing more and more about her feelings for Kara, falling even more for her. But Lena couldn't jeopardize their friendship or Kara's happiness with Lucy. Lena, this time, is willing to be the one to wait for Kara, no matter how long it takes.

//

Kara was not prepared to see Lena on a date night with Lucy. Kara and Lucy enter ALIEN (the bar nearby), holding hands. Kara's smile slowly fades when she sees those beautiful green eyes by the pool table. Lena was laughing with Veronica whose back was on Kara. Just when Kara thought she was finally done with this, a familiar feeling crept on her. She was Jealous. She clenches her fist to stop herself from being more obvious because she had no reason to be jealous. She reminds herself she's here with Lucy.

"Lena." Lucy acknowledges her.

Kara sees Lena slowly turning to face them as her laughter slowly stops. Kara feels a little bit of disappointment with this.

"Lucy." Lena then turns to Kara, surprise in her eyes. And was that panic? "Kara."

The woman who is with Lena turns around. And to Kara's surprise it wasn't Veronica. It was Jess, Lena's secretary. Kara thought she would be relieved that it wasn't Veronica but somehow her Jealousy just got worst. She bites her lip, trying to control her emotions.

"Kara" Jess hugs Kara, giving the blonde a wide smile.

"Oh. Jess,Lucy. Lucy, Jess" Lena introduces her secretary and Lucy. "I'd say she's my secretary but not anymore. We are celebrating her promotion. Care to join us?"

"Oh." Kara says and now regrets because everyone is now looking at her giving her curious looks.

Seeing Kara made lena's heart beat rapidly. She started to panic despite being all proper on the outside. She would have probably acted weird if not for the distraction that Kara's 'OH' gave. Lena wonders what Kara's tone meant. She knows her best friend too well. Although Kara is naturally friendly and probably the kindest person she knows and the most universally liked, Lena knows that was the tone Kara uses when she dislikes someone which is odd. Because Jess had been Lena's secretary for a long time and Kara and Jess are friends. Not that close but friends nonetheless. So Kara using that tone to Jess was a bit of mystery. 

"Yeah, sure" Lucy says, saving Kara from the uncomfortable silence and stares. "We just finished our dinner and we're in the mood for some friendly match."

"Oh. Is that a dare, Ms. Lane?" Lena teases, smirking as she turns her head towards Jess. "Jess here got some game. And You haven't seen me in my college years"

Kara kept her mouth shut. She notices how Lena smirked. She was definitely flirting with Jess. How could she do that to Veronica? Kara rolls her eyes. She couldn't believe she was thinking about Veronica's feelings. Oh who was she kidding? Ofcourse it's not about how Veronica would feel. Why did Jess get promoted anyway? A thousand questions were running through Kara's mind and she was struggling so hard to keep a poker face but apparently she couldn't.

"Kara, honey. Don't worry." Lucy puts an arm around Kara, assuring her. "We'll crush them"

"I dont think so" Jess teases. "I'm very good at what I do"

They were interrupted by the waiter who asked them if it was Lucy's car parked outside. It was blocking another parked car so she had to go out to park it in a different space. Jess, Lena and Kara decided to wait for Lucy before starting to play pool so the three of them played darts instead.

Kara usually has good aim but apparently her emotions are messing with her. She couldn't hit near the bullseye. Her hits were way too far.

Kara throws another dart and it doesn't even land on the circles. "what's taking Luce so long" 

"Ill go check on her" Jess walks out the door, not giving anyone the chance to object.

Kara throws another dart and this time it hits the dart board but still far from the center. Lena laughs as she shakes her head.

"Kara, darling. Honestly, how can your aim with guns be so good when you suck at darts."

Kara just shrugs, not saying a word. Lena is really sure something is wrong right now. This was probably the longest Kara has not spoken a word and everyone knows Kara Danvers is a rambling mess. Lena is pretty sure Her best friend is wearing her annoyed face right now.

"Okay, Kara. What's wrong?" Lena asks with a worried tone.

Kara sighs, throwing another dart, pointing at the dart board. "Nothing. I just can't hit it right"

Lena laughs. She comes closer to Kara, just right behind the blonde. But it was somehow too close for both of them. 

"Here, let me show you." Lena whispers, her lips just behind Kara's earlobe.

Lena touches Kara's back, adjusting her posture. She takes Kara's hand with the dart, slowly angling as she aims for the bullseye. They are too close with each other. Lena's heart start to beat rapidly again. She tries to calm herself and focus on what she's trying to teach Kara.

"There." Lena says, pointing at the bullseyes, still holding Kara's hand with the dart. "Focus on what you want to aim and tell yourself you have to get it. That you will"

Lena was whispering in Kara's ear and her touch makes Kara shiver. Thank god she was able to calm the hand Lena is holding but her other hand was shaking. Lena this close to Kara makes her knees tremble and her heart palpitate. It made her feel butterflies in her stomach. Kara releases the dart and it instantly hit the bullseye. Lena and Kara's eyes widen. They both laugh at this. 

"See." Lena says, slowly turning to meet Kara's gaze

Their laughter slowly fades, turning it into a smile instead. Lena and Kara, faces with only few inches away from each other, stare at each other's eyes. Their smiles were fixed at each other, their gazes are locked, speaking a thousand words. Kara and Lena are dangerously leaning closer, biting their lips. They were trapped in this moment until reality set in.

"Oh now we can have that pool match!"

They both take a step back from each other as they hear Lucy's voice by the door. They played pool and Kara and Lucy were losing. Apparently, Jess really did have game. Lena, as Kara knows, wasn't bad either. She sees Lena and Jess high five when they finally won. This even made Kara grumpier.

"Aghh" Kara pouts.

Lena is now really concerned with Kara. She has been so focused in controlling her feelings and hiding the fact that it stings that Kara is on a date with Lucy that she almost kissed Kara awhile ago. And she hates herself because maybe that's why Kara looks upset right now. She hates herself because she really wants to do everything right for Kara yet now she had messed it up again.

"Kara" Lucy laughs. "It's just a game, Kar"

But for Kara, it was not. She doesn't bother saying goodbye as she walks out the door of the ALIEN bar. She could hear voices calling for her but she is too tired and her emotions are clearly getting the best out of her.

She arrives in her apartment and quickly takes a shower before going to bed. When she gets out of the bathroom she was startled by the figure in the dark waiting for her.

"Geez Lena. You scared me."

"Sorry?"

"What are you doing here?"

Len sighs. "I just want to make sure you're alright. And I'm really sorry Kara. I-"

Before Lena could speak more, Kara cut her off. "It wasn't something you did Lena. I was just really tired."

Lena knows Kara was lying but she lets it go for now.

"Since you're here.." Kara Walks to the fridge and pulls out a pint of Mint Pistachio Ice cream, giving Lena a wide grin. "Wanna watch a disney movie?"

"Wouldn't miss it!" Lena's smile widens as she raises the paper bag she was holding. "Potstickers. I thought these would cheer you up"

Kara basically squeals as they sit on the couch, Lena eating ice cream while Kara devours her potstickers. 

Lena hadn't noticed that Kara had fallen asleep on her lap halfway of the movie. Kara must be really tired. She doesn't want to wake Kara up so she decides she's gonna try to sleep that way even if her position is uncomfortable. She strokes Kara's hair, her gaze lost on Kara's face, her heart flustering at the sight of Kara Danvers sleeping on her lap, holding, her hand unconsciously.

"I... I hope I get the chance to take care of you, Kara" She whispers, wishing that one day, she'd be able to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, we cant just expect Lena to go to Kara and be like 'hey veronica and I broke up' right? Is it okay? 
> 
> Hope u like the chapter. It's the beginning of the end guys. Buckle up :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its 3:44 am. Good mornight! Hope u enjoy :)

The one person Lena never expected to knock on her door at 8 in morning was Lucy Lane. But as Lena opens the door, there she is with a frown on her face.

"Ms. Lane." Lena raises her eyebrow, her face filled with curiosity that immediately turns to concern. "oh god! Did something happen to Kara?"

Lucy shakes her head. "No, no. I came here to talk to you. May I come In?"

"Please" Lena says, signaling her hand as she leads the way to the living room.

"You are not going to the trip Kara had planned for everyone today. I want you to stay away from Kara" Lucy says, imposing authority in her voice.

"Excuse me." Lena scoffs, crossing her arms as she tries to hide her shock with Lucy's statement. "And who do you think you are to tell me that?"

"Her girlfriend"

And with that, Lena's composure breaks. Those two words hitting a nerve, making a sting in her her heart. For the first time, she wasn't able to speak.

"I got promoted. The catch is the base I'm assigned to is in Metropolis." Lucy adds. "It's my dream job and I'm taking it. I've asked Kara to come with me."

"YOU DID WHAT?!"

Lucy ignores Lena's question. "She said yes. But I told her to think about it"

"Your dream, huh? And what about Kara's dream? Her friends? Her sister, her family is here!"

"It's not up to you, Lena! She said yes and I told her she should think about it but I don't want you near her when she's thinking about it. I don't want you to try and stop Kara"

Lena takes few steps forward, lessening the gap between her and Lucy as she pulls off the most intimidating version of herself. She locks her stare at Lucy. "It's not up to you either, Ms. Lane. Get. The. Hell. Out. Of. My. Penthouse!"

Lucy doesn't say a word and takes a step back, preparing herself to leave. But she stops. "Kara may be Oblivious about how you feel but I'm not. How long? You know what, that doesn't matter! You had your chance for years, Lena! You don't get to disrupt her life now."

"As i've said, Ms.Lane. GET OUT!"

As much as Lena hated it, Lucy was right. She had her chance for years. She doesn't get to disrupt Kara's life now. And she never plans to. But if Kara is leaving, then she definitely needs to go to this out of town trip Kara had planned for everyone. Especially since This might be the last time she'd get to spend much time with her best friend. Screw what Lucy says. She's going to this trip.

 

* * *

* * *

 

 

Kara's happy everyone decided to come along. Alex and Maggie, Winn, James, and mike were here too. Ofcourse, Lena and Lucy wouldn't miss it. Kara had decided to go with Lucy. She is planning to tell everyone after this trip. She knows Alex would be against this but she has Maggie now. Alex would be okay. Plus, it's not like she's leaving the country. James and Winn are gonna be busy with the business they just started together and Mike... Well, Mike got the bar and the girls. He'll be alright. But Lena... Leaving Lena's the hard part. It's like leaving a part of yourself. But she knows Lena would be okay. Everything's going great with LCorp and Veronica's not creating anymore problems for Lena. Leaving is right. she feels like she has to do this. Because everyone's life is just moving forward and that's great. But it's like her life is stuck. It's not moving anywhere. And yes maybe her dream is to go up the professional ladder of being a reporter in Catco but it doesn't mean she couldn't get a job temporarily in The Daily Planet. Everything is lining up. As she thinks of the pros and cons, everything is telling her to go.

But something is still holding her back. And staring at Lena right now, she knows it's her. Kara knows that despite the universe pushing her to go, Lena's pull was still stronger. Damn, Lena was like gravity. No matter how much she tries, she'd always end up falling. Every single time. So right now, despite her mind deciding she'd leave NationalCity, she knows she still couldn't be certain.

 

* * *

 

 

"Earth to Lena" Winn says, snapping his fingers in front of lena's face as he sees the blonde staring at the front seat of the van where Kara is sitting.

Lena blinks. "sorry, what was that?"

"I said, did you tell her? About the break up"

Lena nudges winn. "Sssh! I did not and again, you wont either."

"But you are in love with her, Lena."

Lena stares at Winn intensely. "Despite my best intentions, i've hurt her. She loved me for years, Winn."

Lena then transfers her gaze to Kara who is laughing as she sings thousand miles with Lucy while her girlfriend is driving.

"She loved me." Lena smiles, keeping her gaze locked on Kara "And now, I'm willing to do the same even if its just from the side lines. I'd love her from afar now for the tiniest bit of hope that Someday... Someday I might get the chance to call her mine and be hers, Winn. Someday..."

 

* * *

 

During The afternoon, after they've explored the beach and enjoyed their time, the group decided to play air soft with. But the airsoft that the place offered goes with a little bit of twist. There are two teams; the terrorist and the police. And then there's also the hostage that the police needed to save. However, there will be a traitor in the team police which would be a secret and his/her role would be to kill the hostage.

The man in charged with the game gives them their roles secretly. Kara's role is the hostage. Winn, Mike, and Maggie are team terrorist while James, Lena, alex and Lucy are team police.

As the game starts, Winn ties Kara's hand to the bar and keeps her under the hiding place.  
Kara rolls her eyes. "Oh come on Winn. Is this really necessary?"

Maggie laughs as she ties a hanky around Kara's mouth. "Can never be too sure little danvers."

Kara tries to speak but only murmurs of her voice could be heard with her mouth covered.

Lena signals AlEx to go forward. Alex does as she sees her girlfriend. She pulls the trigger, hitting Maggie

"Oh come on babe. Really??!" Maggie complains

Alex laughs, winking at Maggie "Sorry baby but good always winn"

While Alex was busy flirting with her terrorist girlfriend, Lena was trying to find Kara. When she finally sees her, she rushes right beside her.

To Kara's surprise however, two hands hold her both at the same time. One's Lucy at her left and Lena at her right. Kara is pretty sure the universe is messing with her right now.

As Lena sees Lucy, she raises her gun, pointing at Lucy, her other hand still holding Kara. Incidentally, Lucy did exactly the same

"Put down your gun" Lena smirks.

"Are you crazy!? Were on the same team!"

"Says the one aiming a gun at me" Lena scoffs.

lucy rolls her eyes. "You could be the traitor!"

"Or you could be"

" id never hurt Kara" Lucy says

"I wouldnt either"

Kara was looking from Lucy to Lena to Lucy as they argue, still aiming the gun at each other. The two hadn't even noticed that Winn, James, Mike, maggie and Alex are already there and are staring at them.

Lucy laughs at Lena's answer. "You wouldn't take it against me if I don't believe you right?! Lower the gun and Let go of her "

Lena looks at Lucy's eyes intensely, both women knowing the deeper meanings behind their exchange. "YOU. LET. GO. OF. HER"

Okay, now kara is confused. She could feel the tension in the air. She's pretty sure so did the others. Clearly, something is going on her. She never thought she could be happy not being able to speak at the moment.

"Oh for godsake!" Alex cuts off their exchange, pointing the gun at Kara as she pulls the trigger. "TERRORIST WIN. Oh im the traitor knuckle heads!"

Despite Alex revealing she's the traitor and hitting Kara, Lena and Lucy didn't even move or flinch. Both women still looking at each other intensely, still aiming the gun at each other while holding Kara with each of their other hand.

Winn coughs, holding Lena's shoulders as he whispers. "Lena"

Lena blinks, and immediately puts down the gun and unties Kara. Lucy does the same. Everyone is still quiet and is still looking at the three women.

"Im tired. Im going back to the hotel." Lucy says, as she leaves. She pauses and turns her back. "Kara?"

Kara looks at Lucy who was asking her to come with her. She then looks at Lena who is apparently still holding her hand, squeezing it. She stares at Lena's eyes. She feels like those green eyes were calling her, pleading for her.

She almost got lost in those eyes until she heard the voice again.  
"Kar?" Lucy asks, trying to sound more hopeful.

She looks at Lucy then back at Lena. She pulls away, letting go of Lena's hand. "See you guys later"

Lena thought she was ready. She told herself she was going to wait for Kara and in the meantime, she's gonna be happy for her if Kara is happy. That all she wants is for Kara to be happy. Yet seeing her slowly pull away and letting go of Lena's hand, seeing Kara walk away with Lucy breaks Lena's heart into a million pieces in ways she didn't know it could break. She bites her lips trying to hide the pain. Because what she's feeling right now is a hundred times more painful than she had ever felt before. And she had felt pain, heartbreak, for years. But never this painful. Not even close.


	13. Chapter 13

Dreams. They say that dreams are the manifestation of your deepest heart's desires, a manifestation of your subconscious. So when Kara dreams of a happy and perfect life with Lucy in Metropolis, she figures it's what she wants. But then she suddenly dreams of flying. She dreams of flying and soaring high to National City. High Enough that she could probably reach space. Then to her surprise, she falls. She dreams she's high up above and she stares over National City below her as she falls. Fear and panic crept on her and suddenly she couldn't breathe. She was falling and falling and she couldn't breathe.

"Kara? Kara? Wake up! Kara!" Lucy pats Kara's cheek, waking her up. "It's okay, Kar. It's just a dream."

Kara's eyes open. She sees Lucy in front of her, tugging her into her arms. She tells herself it was just a dream. Still, she couldn't breathe. She pulls away from Lucy, looking at her tapping her heart as she struggles breathing.

"hhf, Hff, huu" Kara tries to Inhale and exhale but the panic is overwhelming her.

"oh god, Kara" Panic is starting to get to Lucy as well. "Breathe, Breathe for me please. Inhale. Exhale. It was just a dream."

Kara tries to calm herself again but it was no use.

"Hhff, huff, huLee" Kara struggles, tears start to flow from her eyes. "Na. Hff, Leeh, hi, Naa. Hff, Le. Na"

It took a few more seconds for Lucy to realize what Kara was trying to say but when she finally did, She rushes to the other room, banging the door. 

"Lucy? If you're here for round two, Lena's asle-" Winn asks, half asleep.

Lucy ignores Winn and pulls Lena from her bed, waking her up. 

"what the He-" Lena starts to say but stops when she sees the fear in Lucy's eyes. Lucy didn't need to say anything. Lena immediately runs to the adjacent room. She holds Kara up who was struggling for air on the floor.

"Hey. Hey. Kara" She tilts Kara's chin, meeting the blonde's eyes. "Remember the drill?"

Kara nods, as she mimics Lena's actions. 

"In. Out. Inhale. Exhale." Lena holds out both of her hands for Kara to squeeze. "That's it. Breathe."

Lena sees Winn and Lucy standing before them, their faces filled with worry and Panic.

"Winn, 3rd pocket on the left of my luggage." Lena says with a tone of urgency "Get Kara's inhaler"

Winn Obliges. Lena turns to Kara, urging her to breathe as she rubs Kara's back.

"There's only few dose left" Winn says, handing Lena the inhaler before he leaves "I'll ask the others if they have some"

"That will do" Lena takes it and gives it to Kara.

"hhff, huuu" Kara is still struggling but her breathing is getting better

"i'll go get some at the pharmacy downstairs" Lucy says, grabbing her coat, looking at Kara.

Kara nods. Lena rubs Kara's chest while the blonde is still squeezing her hand. 

"Breathe. Steady breaths. That's it." Lena smiles, tucking Kara's messed up hair behind her. "Seee."

Lena helps Kara up from the floor, letting her sit on the bed. She fixes Kara's pillow behind her back as she puts a blanket on top of her legs. 

Lena squeezes Kara's hand "You got it, sweetie. In time, you won't need me"

She kisses the top of her best friend's head before she turns her back and leaves, letting go of Kara's hand. But before Lena could fully let go, Kara was on her feet, Pulling her hand back to meet each other's gaze. Then as fast as Kara pulled Lena back, it was as fast as she gently pushes her to the wall. Kara's hand was on Lena's collar bone, trapping her as she rests her forehead on Lena's.

Kara closes her eyes, feeling every emotion all at once. Feelings for Lena that she'd tried so hard to keep buried.

"I'll always need you" Kara whispers as her and Lena's fingertips brush.

Lena was so sure she could hear her heart beat. Everything was happening too fast she had no time to react. So fast that she's letting Kara trap her, letting her hold her. because in reality, Lena wanted to be selfish enough to have this. She wanted this moment to last. Even just for a little bit longer. But she knows she can't be selfish. With Kara, she can't be. Not after everything.

Kara leans in closer. Their lips just a few centimeters away from each other that they could actually feel each other's breath. Their lips linger like that for a while but never actually touching as their foreheads rest on each other's. 

Kara sighs as a tear fall from her watery piercing blue eyes. "I, We can't. Lucy"

Lena slowly lets go of Kara's hand, trying to find the strength to let Kara go and hide the heartbreak. "Lucy."

"I'm so sorry, i didnt know what I was thinking. Lucy..." Kara whispers, slowly taking a step back, "And Veronica."

"Yes. Veronica" Lena nods as she starts walking through the door. "Goodnight, Kara"

"Goodnight, Lena" Kara whispers with an ache in her heart. How could have everything become so complicated?

She stares at the space Lena left behind for a few minutes until someone interrupts her.

"umm" Winn Coughs, standing by the door frame.

"Hey Winn. where's Lucy?" Kara asks without really looking up to face Winn.

"She texted she's on the way back from the convenient store. She brought some Ice cream for you to feel better."

Kara laughs slyly.

"What?" Winn crosses his arms on his chest, leaning on the door as he raises his eyebrows with curiosity.

"Ice cream." Kara smiles, staring at nothing in particular. "It's a Lena - Kara thing"

"You're in love with her again, aren't you?" 

Kara looks up and stares at Winn this time, meeting his gaze. "I think I never really stopped, Winn."

Because if Kara thinks about it, who was she kidding? She never really stopped loving Lena. She tried. God knows she tried. But can you really 'unlove' someone when you started loving her with no conditions at the first place. How can Kara convince herself not to love Lena when they've been closer than ever. They haven't even talked about Veronica or anyone else. When they're together, it feels like... it's just them. And everything else is out of the equation. everything else doesn't matter. That's why Kara knows she has to leave now more than ever. Before it's too late to save herself from the quicksand that is Lena Luthor.

"I'm tired Winn. I'm exhausted. I can't do this with Lena anymore." Kara tilts her head up to stop the tears from falling from her eyes. "I have to leave to finally move on from her. And I have to be honest with Lucy about all this. I need to move away, Winn"

"She loves you Kara." 

Kara tucks her legs in her arm as she shakes her head, looking down with sadness in her eyes as she's about to admit the ugly truth. "It's always Veronica, Winn. It's always gonna be Veronica."

Winn hated seeing Kara like this. He hated to see Lena's heart breaking too when it shouldn't have at the first place. Screw what Lena says. She can get mad him or thank him. But he knew the truth and it may not be his truth to tell but Kara still deserves it.

"Veronica..." Winn Scoffs. "Veronica whom Lena hasn't seen for awhile. when I said Lena loves you I mean she is in love with you"

and with that, Kara looks up meeting his gaze, confusion evident in those piercing blue eyes.

"They broke up a few months ago, Kara." Winn walks towards Kara. He hugs the blonde and kisses her cheek before he leaves. "Now it's up to you what to do with that information."

Honestly, Kara didn't know what to do with that information. But everything is starting to make sense now. Her dream was starting to make sense. She pictured the perfect life with Lucy but perfection wasn't what her heart desires. What she desires most is the feeling she gets whenever she's with Lena. The butterflies in the stomach, the giddiness, the anxiousness, happiness, even sadness. Because it's only with Lena wherein she experiences All those feelings and emotions all at once. She dreamed of flying home of National City. But it wasn't National City she was flying home to. It was Lena. And when she was flying high, she was actually getting what she desired. but she was afraid. She was afraid of falling for Lena even more. Because Lena had hurt her in the past and falling for her best friend even more is openly giving Lena the power to hurt her once again and this scares Kara. This terrifies her because it's true. 

Because the moment she opened her eyes and reality set in, even then, All she needed to breathe was Lena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a few more chapters left. For those who are still reading this fic even up to this chapter, thank you thank you so much for sticking


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE DONT HATE ME?
> 
> Tell me what you love and hate tho :)

"Lena?" Alex says as she enters the balcony in Lena and Winn's shared room.

"Alex?" Lena asks with concern in her voice. "Is everything alright with Kara? Is she okay?"

Alex takes a step closer towards Lena. She stands beside the raven-haired woman, looking down at the view of the beach from the room's balcony. "She's okay. I just came to check up on her. Lucy just got back from the Pharmacy. She's with her and Maggie."

"Oh." Lena says, taking a sip from the red wine she's holding. "spectacular, isn't it? The view, I mean."

"I never figured it out, you know." Alex turns to face those emerald eyes beside her. "How you could do it. I read articles and even asked doctors but I could never calm Kara when she's having those panic attacks."

Lena smiles shyly feeling a little nostalgic as memories of her and Kara during those panic attacks flood through her mind. Despite Alex saying she never figured it out, for Lena, it was plain and simple. It was easy for her to do. She never had a hard time trying to calm Kara since they started being friends.

"You just have to assure her she's safe, Alex. That she's not alone and you're there with her at that moment."

Alex stares at the view right in front of her, taking in the fresh air. "That's what we both want, isn't it?"

"what do you mean?' Lena says, raising an eyebrow at Alex, not really getting what Alex is trying to say.

"Kara. Safe. You know. I've watched from the sidelines, Lena. For years, I saw Kara's heart break piece by piece slowly." Alex turns to face Lena, letting her know where this was going through her eyes. "But I never said anything because as much as unrequited love hurts, with the guys I dated before Maggie, I knew you couldn't force love too. And I knew you never wanted to hurt Kara."

"Alex, I-"

"no," Alex says, shaking her head. "let me finish first. I never blamed you for my sister's heartbreak, Lena. But now... it's not the same case, anymore isn't it? I see you with my sister and there's something different. It's ironic because Kara is the one with feelings for you but she's also the one oblivious to how you feel now."

Alex looks back down at the beach again, carefully trying to choose the right words to express what's in her mind. "I knew you and Veronica had been over. I let it play out the way you wanted it to because it wasn't my place to do otherwise."

" I guess what I'm trying to say, Lena is whatever happens next, it's on you. If you end up breaking Kara's heart, even just the tiniest piece of it, The blame is on you. you know, she has the chance to be happy with Lucy now." Alex takes a deep breath before she continues. "I don't really care who Kara ends up with. Hell, I wouldn't mind if she's single as long as she's happy. So whatever you do next, you better be sure about it. Just.. just make sure my sister ends up Happy, Lena."

Alex pats Lena's shoulders as she takes a step back, whispering before she leaves. "because we both know my sister deserves someone who loves her with every beat of her heart. "

When Alex was finally out of the room, Lena let out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding. Alex was right. She didn't even need to tell Lena that. In Lena's eyes, Kara had the brightest smile in the world, whether it be when she listens to Lena telling her how the stock prices are, watching her favorite tv shows, reading food journals, looking at photos of puppies and kittens in her phone or simply talking about how her day went. It still pains her knowing she had somehow dimmed that smile a little. And she promised herself she never would again. Never again even if it means dimming her own smile as she lets her best friend go. Because as selfish as she was when she was with Veronica, She couldn't do that with Kara. She couldn't even consider the idea of being selfish with her. She just couldn't.

 

* * *

 

  
"Hey Kar, you ready?" Lucy asks as she finishes packing her things for their flight tomorrow. "And wow! That's really breath-taking!"

"Really? I dont know it seems dark" Kara says, looking at her canvas. She had been pretty frustrated lately and painting has been her outlet. Though her work seems to be edgier than usual. On the canvas was a woman's back, walking in the beach barefoot, the wind bowing her hair. The colors used were dark but something about the painting was captivating.

"It's amazing, Kar" Lucy says, pulling Kara in her arms, kissing her.

"Luce?"

"hmmm?" Lucy smiles.

"If I hadn't found a job offer in Daily Planet, would you still leave?" Kara asks not really knowing why.

Lucy was quiet for a minute, thinking of what she might do. "I don't know. We wouldn't know"

 

* * *

 

Kara Danvers could not do patient even if she wanted to. Yet she tried. She tried her best to be patient, waiting for Lena to tell her. It's been days and she is scheduled to leave for Metropolis the next but Lena still hasn't talked to her about Veronica or even about what could have happened in the hotel room. Well, they say waiting is painful but not knowing what to do next is actually the worst kind of suffering. So screw waiting. She has to talk to Lena.

"Kara!!" Lena complains, looking at the box left in front of her as they were having one of their movie night in Lena's Penthouse. "You ate the last slice of the pizza"

"hey. Totally not my fault. It was calling me"

"It was calling you, huh?" Lena laughs, throwing a pillow at Kara.

Kara runs away from Lena who is now chasing her with a pillow. She gets one for herself for protection and another one to throw at Lena. Both women were laughing as they keep on hitting each other with pillows, not minding the mess that the feathers of the pillows are causing.

Lena was running after Kara when the blonde suddenly trips. Lena saw it coming so she tries to pull Kara, helping her out. But only ended up tripping herself and falling on top of Kara on the floor. Once again, their lips were only a few centimeters away, never really touching. Their laughter began to fade and is replaced by their heavy breathing. Those emerald eyes meet the gaze of the piecing blue eyes below her. Lena was so lost in those piercing blue eyes that she almost gave in. Almost.

As reason hits her, Lena clears her throat, slowly backing away from Kara. She fakes a laugh as she heads towards the kitchen to get some water, not bothering to turn her back to see Kara's face. "gosh. I'm such a clutz. want some water?"

"Stop" Kara says. It was barely a whisper yet you could hear the tenacity in her voice.

Lena ignores this. She tries to hide her nervousness of where this night might end up. "No water then. How bout some tea or-"

Kara cuts Lena off, not really wanting to avoid this conversation anymore. "We almost kissed Lena! Twice! Back in the hotel room.."

"Back in the hotel room should have never happened" Lena says, sighing as she turns to face a frustrated Kara Danvers.

"So what? Was that nothing for you? Was this..." Kara gestures her hands around. "was this just a game for you, Lena? Are you bored?"

"DONT!" Lena exclaims. "You have no idea how I felt back there in the hotel room. You have no idea Kara"

Before she continued, Lena slowly steps closer to Kara but still not close enough to her

"I.. I hoped. For a moment, I hoped. I hoped for You and I not for the next few months or years but for now! I had a flicker of hope Kara. I allowed myself to hope then suddenly.." Lena snaps her finger. "Just like that, It's gone."

"You're right. I had no idea, Lena!" Kara scoffs. "Why didn't you tell me? about Veronica. WHY?!"

"The same reason why you didn't tell me you're leaving."

"That's different" Kara shakes her head, trying to hide her shock.

Lena sighs. "It's not. Telling each other wouldn't change a thing. That's why."

"No!" Kara was already raising her voice. "That's not it Lena! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because why would I Kara? We stopped talking about Veronica way before we even broke up! We stopped talking about her. And Everything..." Lena takes a deep breath, looking up to stop her tears from falling. "Everything was becoming less about her and more about... more about what you think... about how your day went, what's bothering you. Everything in my world was more about... has Kara eaten? is she okay? What would make her smile today? goddamit everything was becoming more about you, Kara!! And I... I didn't know what to do, okay!! Youre happy and it wouldn't have change a thing. I don't even know when you and Lucy will move!! I was just ha-"

"Tomorrow" Kara interrupts Lena.

Kara was taken aback by Lena's admission. Lena was basically saying she occupied her mind. But Kara wasn't sure what it means. Why is she occupying Lena's mind. Could it be she's occupying her heart as well. She needed to know. She needed to hear if the person she's been in love with feels the same way,

 

"What?" Lena laughs wryly as tears began to fall from those emerald eyes. "Youre leaving. Tomorrow. and you didnt even tell me until now?! Were you even planning to??"

Lena slowly sits on the couch, looking down at the floor, shaking her head in disbelief as her heart breaks.

"Tell me." Kara whispers.

"What?" Lena slowly looks up to meet Kara's gaze.

"Tell me to stay and I would." Kara's says, her voice pleading as tears fall from those piercing blue eyes. "Give me a reason to stay, Lena. Give me something. Anything. Lena, please."

Lena stands, taking a step closer towards Kara, tears still falling from her eyes. "what do you want me to say Kara? That youre important to me? That I care about you? That everytime you walk in the room I light up. That I hate it when youre with her. And I hate myself for being too late? Because I do Kara. I do!"

Lena holds Kara's hand, pulling her closer as she rests her forehead on hers.

However, Kara pulls away, letting go of Lena's hand, tears still flowing. "WHY LENA? TELL ME WHY???!"

"Because I... Because It's you, Kara! Because I... I feel for you"

Because I love you is what Lena really wants to say. But Alex's words is like a broken vinyl that keeps playing on her head, telling her to be sure, telling her that whatever happens Kara gets to be happy. and she really isn't sure if she is capable of making Kara happy. And as much as losing Kara scares her, being the reason why Kara's light all dimmed out terrifies her even more.

"That's not enough" Kara whispers

As much as Kara wanted to stay, as much as she loves Lena, she just couldn't go back to where they were several months ago. She couldn't go back to the pain that the uncertainty brought. She needed Lena to be sure because she couldn't handle hoping and actually feeling there's something more when any minute it could be taken away from her. She couldn't go back. Lena feeling something for her simply wasn't enough. For the past several months, Kara had grown as a person and she had learned to be strong and independent. She had learned to love and prioritize herself more especially when needed. And that's what Kara feels she needs right now. So as much as it pains her shattering her own heart in to a million pieces, she walks out, wanting to leave Lena to figure her feelings out for herself. Because Kara's sure of her own and it's to Lena to figure hers out. Because if Lena only did, she would have stayed. Kara would have given everything up in a heart beat.

And Like Dejavu, after words were thrown and voices raised, someone walks out the door as the other watches her leave the place and maybe her life completely. But this time, it's Kara who walks out, leaving Lena devastated, not knowing a few minutes after she'd left, Lena would now be the one who collapses on the floor as she breaks down and cry knowing her world was falling apart, that her world would be gone the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay last chapter that has angst in it because this just feels like coming full circle with the first chapter, you know. I just need to put it out there. Don't worry the next chapters would be all about resolution for every character. 2 more chapters to go (or three if It feels rushed) Sorry if anyone's disappointed with the writing in this chap, my eyes are really closing. Idk why my mind only works at the wee hours of the night. Im really nocturnal I guess. Anyways, hope you enjoy!! 
> 
> looking forward to finish this fic before the weekend (because its Finals so no ao3 next week) so I can catch up with the other fics ive favorited here in ao3. I'm telling you there are just too many I read


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more from Lena's POV.

Lena should have been used to it by now. The heavy feeling in her heart leading to a sleepless night, the puffy red eyes with the big bags underneath the next morning and the mood swings she's gonna have all day. After all, she had years of practice with Veronica. But she was wrong. This was something new, something different. When Kara left her penthouse, She broke down and cried. She cried her heart out all night, replaying their conversation, having all those what if this and there in her head. The first thing she usually did during times like this was be with Kara and drown her sorrows through alcohol. When Kara wasn't there, She'd go to Mike's Bar and drink by herself. Kara and Booze had always been her go-to during times like this but neither was there last night.

 

For a moment, she had thought about going to Mike's and drink her pain away like she always did. But she didnt. Yes, She may have done that before but not now. Not anymore. Now, She would not drown her sorrows with alcohol knowing it's a temporary fix. She doesn't want the easy way out anymore. Lena decides she's gonna buckle up and take it all in. Because Lena too had somehow learned and grown these past months more than anyone give her credit for. She is not the same Lena Luthor she had been months ago. She tells herself that she's gonna handle this heart break or anything life throws at her as the more mature and stronger version of herself that she had become over the months. Lena Luthor would not be backing down like she did before. She decides she'd face everything with head held high.

So she smiles though her heart is aching. She puts on her glasses and busies herself at work first thing in the morning.

 

"Ms. Luthor" Her new secretary says shyly. "A Miss Veronica Sinclair is here wanting to talk to you without an appointment. Should I-"

 

 "Let her in" Lena says, looking up thru her glasses wondering what Veronica is here for. She hasn't seen her ex for quite awhile now. They had never really kept in touch after their break up.

 

"Lena" Veronica smiles as she hugs Lena.

 

"Veronica" Lena gestures the seat in front of her table as she sits, giving Veronica a smile in return.

"Youre probably wondering why I'm here. I want to return this personally and not through our lawyers. For old time's sake. " She hands Lena a check. It was the investment Lena had given her ex girlfriend for their supposed business together that they halted last minute for obvious reason; their break up.

 

"Thanks. I forgot totally forgot about this. How are you and Leslie?" Lena asks Veronica about her new girlfriend. They hadn't kept it touch that much but she hears things. They run in the same circle after all. It was an innocent question. Lena wasn't bitter or anything at all. She's happy Veronica gave someone the chance to prove to her that it's okay to love. Despite everything, she still cares about Veronica's well - being and wishes her the best.

 

"Great. Her kid loves me. Can you believe that! Anyways, How are you and Kara?" Veronica asks, raising an eyebrow due to Lena's reaction. "Not that great, huh?"

 

Lena lets out a chuckle wryly, shaking her head. Veronica's quiet for a minute, waiting for Lena's response but she gets nothing.

 

"Fine but I won't ask if you're okay. I know you're not."

 

"hmm. So youre saying youre a psychic now?" Lena teases.

 

 "No." Veronica laughs, knowing how good her ex girlfriend was at pretending she's fine. "Im saying that you are wearing your glasses now instead of contacts." She points at Lena's glasses. "You do that to hide the fact that you've been crying."

 

"And those too. There's a reason why they're there." Veronica jerks her head, showing Lena the tissues in the trash bin.

 

 "I..um..Thanks V... For everything" Because despite all the cries and heart aches Veronica had caused, they had some ups too and Lena was grateful for that.

 

"I was paying attention too, you know. contrary to popular belief." Veronica winks, teasing her ex girl friend. Lena just smiles at this, not really knowing what to say. Veronica doesn't want to push it. It's unusual enough that she's having this topic with her ex. They are, after all, broken up for a reason. So Veronica bids Lena goodbye, saying it was good to see her again.

 

Before Veronica could get to the door however, Lena blurts something out.

 

"She's leaving." Lena says with a hint of sadness in her voice. "maybe right at this moment. i dont know. but she's moving away"

 

 Veronica pauses, smiling to herself. "The way you look at her."

 

"Huh?" Lena frowns, not understanding what Veronica means.

 

"That's how I knew"

 Veronica turns her back to face her ex girl friend. "That's how I knew you were falling in love with her. Madly. Deeply. Even though you didn’t realize it yet, I knew. You... You never looked at me that way. You never lighted up that way when I entered the room or when you get a text from me. But with Kara, you did. _You do_."

Veronica takes a few steps closer but still maintaining the distance. "Yes, you loved me Lena. But as hard as it is for me to admit, it's different with Kara. It's way much more. You look at her and I see History in your eyes. Longing. Passion. Friendship. Trust. Love. How could anyone ever compete with a foundation as strong as that? "

 

 "Veronica.. I-"

 Veronica didn't let Lena finish what she was trying to say as she smiles sadly because even though she's happy with Leslie now, she still couldnt help but feel nostalgic of what she had taken for granted. "It took me a long time to realize what's in front of me Lena. I was too late and I lost something that could have been beautiful. Dont make the same mistake I did."

And with that, Veronica starts to head out but something Lena says stops her once more.

 

 "You're wrong." Lena whispers with tenacity in her voice as she stands from her chair. "I didn't realize it too late. I know what I have right now, V. I'm not making the same mistake. Oh believe me, I see what's right in front of me. I let Kara go because I see her and I see her worth now more than ever. And I know someone like Kara Danvers deserves better. She deserves so much more than what I can give her. She deserves more than a Lena Luthor. She deserves the world, V. Not someone who had hurt her. Kara deserves every bit of happiness the world has to offer. She... she deserves... _MORE_."

 

"I wasn't talking about her" Veronica turns to face Lena again, making sure those emerald eyes are meeting hers. "I was talking about you, Lena. You know Kara's worth but do you know yours? Have you ever looked at the mirror, see yourself and realize what's in front of you? Realize your worth? maybe the problem is that you don't know your value Lena. That you too deserve what you think your best friend deserves."

 

 "what do you mean?"

 

 "Letting the person you love go isn't some grand gesture, Lena. It isn't romantic. It's tragic. Because you say Kara Danvers deserves all these and that but who are you to say that isn't you? Isn't that Kara's choice to make? You say she deserves more than what you can give. You say she deserves the world. Happiness. But aren't those things YOU for her? Those things you say she deserves are exactly what you can give her. Yet... Here you are."

 

Veronica lets out a deep breath, sighing as she shakes her head. "god, your best friend annoys the hell out of me but we couldnt deny that Kara Danvers deserves someone she's in love with to love her back. And I know you do Lena."

Veronica heads out the door, proud of herself for finally doing something good for Lena, that maybe... just maybe she had opened Lena's eyes and had been a contributing factor for Kara and Lena to be finally together after all these years.

 

"The question is... ** _Does She?_** " Veronica whispers before she walks out the door, leaving Lena something to think about.

Lena was taken aback by Veronica's rhetorical question. By Everything her ex had said actually. And oh God! No she doesn't. Kara doesn't know. Veronica's words are now sinking in deeply into her mind and oh how much she had messed up. Is her ex grilfriend right? Would everything be better if she had realized her own worth? Because now, Lena is starting to think that she should have.

Because more than knowing what other people deserve, there is herself too. And it is important to remember what Lena deserves as well. She should have remembered that she too deserves love. Lena had focused too much on the wrong things she had done in the past that she had cut herself short. She had dwell in the past too much that she had failed to remember to love herself. Thus making her think she doesn't deserve it.

Maybe that's what was holding her back back in saying those three words, that she couldn't completely give herself to Kara, that she chose to sacrifice her feelings thinking she couldnt make Kara happy. Because You couldnt give something you don't have. Lena couldn't give the love she didn't have for herself in the first place. But that was before.

Lena knows over the past months, she had somehow changed. And she had learned to love herself. she had learned how to be independent, how say enough is enough. She had learned to take care of her heart. She had realized what really matters. And in the process of all these, she had fallen in love. The kind of love that isn't toxic or abusive. The kind of love that Kara Danvers brings. The kind that makes her remember her self-worth. Oh god. Veronica Sinclair was right for once.

And with all these realizations dawning upon her all at once, She knows by heart that..

_KARA MATTERS_

_KARA HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE CONSTANT IN HER LIFE_

_THAT SHE IS IN LOVE WITH HER BEST FRIEND_

_SHE IS IN LOVE WITH KARA_

_AND KARA DOESN'T KNOW_

_AND KARA IS LEAVING_

_BUT KARA HAS TO KNOW_

_EVEN IF IT DOESN'T CHANGE A THING_

_KARA HAS TO KNOW THAT SHE HAS LENA'S HEART_

_AND SHE WOULD WAIT FOR HER_

_SHE WOULD WAIT_

_SHE WOULD WAIT AND HOPE_

_BECAUSE HOPE IS ALL LENA NEEDS_

_HOPE THAT MAYBE ONE DAY, SOMEDAY..._

so Lena gets her keys and heads out. She drives like a maniac not really caring. All she knows is she has to get to Kara. All she wants is for Kara to know how much she loves her. Her Best Friend. Her Soulmate. The love of her life. Because Kara is. She may not have been her first love but She is Lena's one great love.

 

* * *

 

 

/// They say the waiting rooms in the hospitals are worst. Lucy Lane thankfully never had the chance to experience that but this is surely close enough. She is pacing at the boarding gate area as she waits for Kara. Kara hasn't talked to her or texted her today. She was really anxious Kara wouldn't show and she really doesn't know what to do if that's the case. God, where the hell is Kara? She feels more anxious when it was announced that the boarding gate is going to close in 15 minutes. She sighs as she closes her eyes praying Kara would be there when she opens them.

  ** _The moment she does, She cant help but smile._** ///

 

 

* * *

 

///Lena knocks on the apartment door frantically. She really wasn't sure what time Kara's flight is. No one is answering the door and she's anxious what if Kara is not even here anymore. What if she had left already. She closes her eyes, sighing while her heart is beating rapidly, hoping when she opens her eyes, Kara would be there.

 ** _The moment she does, She cant help but smile._**  ///

 

* * *

 

///Kara hasn't slept all night. All she could think about is her situation with Lucy. With Lena. Her mind and her heart are contradicting each other. Fighting each other. But Kara asks herself how does she know which one to follow? How does she know whichever she follows is the right one? Kara's tired. She's exhausted. And She's so frustrated. How does she know she wouldnt regret this? She decides anyways. She's here at this very moment. She closes her eyes as she lets out a deep breath, hoping and praying when she opens them, everything would be better somehow.

 ** _The moment she does, She cant help but smile._** ///

 

***  _to be continued ***_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYS KATIE MCGRATH IS OFFICIALLY A SERIES REGULAR I COULDNT BE HAPPIER!! anyways has any of you seen Merlin? Im planning to binge watch it since i have a 2 week break from school but Im scared I'll get more obsessed with Katie. I mean I got hooked with supercorp when I havent even started catching up with s2 yet. I just saw the youtube clips of Lena and Kara together.
> 
> btw, sorry for the late update. It was exam week and I had my last exam last friday and I went on a hiking trip yesterday. But on the bright side, I can finally update more now. yaaas! So how's the chapter? any guesses where this is going?


	16. TEASER

**_And the moment she does, she cant help but smile._ **

Lena Luthor smiles as she hears the door being unlocked. She smiles because she has the chance to tell Kara how she feels. She smiles because Kara will know how much she loves her. She smiles but the moment the door was opened, her smile falters. Her smile fades.

"Lena?" Alex asks. "What are you doing here?"

 

* * *

 

 

**_And the moment she does, she cant help but smile._ **

"Kara" Lucy says as her smile widens. For a moment there, she thought Kara wouldn't show. As hard as it is to admit, Lucy was scared that Kara would not want to leave with her. That she'd rather stay in National City. Because if that was the case, she wouldn't know what to do. She loves Kara but this is also something big for her. It's the job she had always dreamed of. But now that her girlfriend, Kara Danvers, is here right in front of her, she couldn't wish for more. Everything is simply perfect!

 

* * *

 

**_And the moment she does, she cant help but smile._ **

Kara Danvers never thought this day would come. Or maybe she did. She was a little bit hesitant earlier. She had her doubts and fears. Her _What Ifs._  She wasn't really sure about her decisions. She had a dilemma and it was eating her up. She needed to face it not avoid it. She needed to put a stop to this push and pull cycle in her life. She needed everything to be stable for once in her life. So she made a decision, a decision she wasn't entirely sure of a first. But now, being here in this airport and seeing Lucy in front of her, she had never been more sure about something else. Now she knows. Now she's sure.

 

_*** chapter will be up in a few hours ***_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, Im currently writing the chapter and it is not finished yet. So here's a little bit of teaser for what's in store for the next chapter. Stay tuned :)


	17. Chapter 17

**_And the moment she does, she cant help but smile._ **

Lena Luthor smiles as she hears the door being unlocked. She smiles because she has the chance to tell Kara how she feels. She smiles because Kara will know how much she loves her. She smiles but the moment the door was opened, her smile falters. Her smile fades.

"Lena?" Alex asks. "What are you doing here?"

"Is..Is Kara here?" Lena says as she walks in her best friend's apartment, not waiting for an invitation from Alex. "I need to talk to her"

"Lena" Alex says with sadness in her voice.

And Lena should have known right there and then but she refuses to believe it. She ignores Alex and looks around for Kara. But the few clothes and the canvases Kara had painted were the only things left of her. 

"Lena," Alex whispers. she wasn't really expecting Lena here. She wasn't expecting a broken Lena Luthor to tremble and cry in front of her. "Im... She... Kara left 2 hours ago"

It took Lena a minute to process everything. For it to really sink in. That it was too late, She falls apart and cries. She stares blankly at the canvas on the wall KAra painted. It features a woman walking at the beach, her hair blown by the wind. Something about it was dark. She stares at it and all she could think about was Kara leaving. She hates herself because if only she had told Kara how she feels last night, things would have been different.

> _Tell me to stay and I would. Give me a reason to stay, Lena._
> 
> _Give me something. Anything. Lena, please._

Kara's words linger in her mind. Kara was practically pleading. She trembles, crying. She should have just told Kara how she feels. She should have told her. She should have given Kara something more than a  _'i feel for you'_ response. And she hates herself because now, Kara had left thinking Lena doesn't love her. Kara's gone and she wasn't able to tell her how much she loves her. And Now she couldn't stop shaking. She couldn't stop crying. Because Kara's gone and it feels like her world is falling apart piece by piece. 

"I.. I need.." Lena whimpers, feeling the excruciating pain in her heart that would probably never leave. "I need to go home"

Alex shakes her head. "Give me your keys. Youre not driving in that state. I'll drive"

But before they leave Kara's apartment, Alex pulls Lena in her arms, hugging her as she rubs her back. She tries to soothe and comfort her sister's best friend.

"Just Let it out, Lena. Just let it out..."

 

* * *

 

 

**_And the moment she does, she cant help but smile._ **

"Kara" Lucy says as her smile widens. For a moment there, she thought Kara wouldn't show. As hard as it is to admit, Lucy was scared that Kara would not want to leave with her. That she'd rather stay in National City. Because if that was the case, she wouldn't know what to do. She loves Kara but this is also something big for her. It's the job she had always dreamed of. But now that her girlfriend, Kara Danvers, is here right in front of her, she couldn't wish for more. Everything is simply perfect!

_until it wasn't._

"Luce" She sees Kara smile. But that very smile causes her own to slowly fade. Because she knows. She sees those piercing blue eyes filled with sadness and it makes her heart ache. Because she had always known.

"Youre staying" It was barely a whisper. It wasn't a question. It was a statement because they both know what is about to happen. And Lucy is holding so dearly to her emotions, not allowing herself to cry. Because she wants to. She wants to let it out. but she wasn't going to make this any more difficult for her and Kara. "It's okay, Kar. It's okay. I understand"

"Luce..." Kara comes closer, tears filling her eyes. "Im.. Im sorry, Luce. I, I never wanted it to go this way. Please Believe me, Luce. i.."

"Sshh shhh." Lucy cups Kara's cheeks, wiping her tears away. "I know, Kar. I knew what I signed up for, remember? I asked you to try and just give me a chance. And You did. You did, Kar. That's all that matters. it's more than enough. "

"but I wanted to do this for you... I just..."

Because of course, Kara would want that even if it goes against her own happiness. Lucy Lane fell for Kara for a reason. And this is one. That's just how Kara is. Kara Danvers who would always prioritize other people's happiness before her own. So even if it hurts like hell, how could she be even mad at this beauty in front of her? How can she hold a grudge at someone who's as pure at heart as Kara?

"i know. Kara. I know." Lucy smiles as she holds Kara's hand. "You cant take all the blame. not when I've always known youre still in love with Lena. I just... I had this illusion of me and you and I badly wanted it to be real"

Kara squeezes Lucy's hand as tears fall from her eyes. "I want you to know it's not just about  _her._ it's about Alex too. James. Winn. CatCo. I thought I would be able to give it all up. I wanted to give it up. For you. But-"

"You aren't ready to" Lucy finishes what Kara was trying to say. Lucy closes the gap between them, holding Kara's hand. "When you had that panic attack, I was so scared. That night, It hurt me that I wasn't able to make you feel safe. But  _She_ did. As much as it pains me, All you needed to be okay that night was Lena. So I backed away, knowing right then and there that it has always been Lena."

"Luce..."

Kara begins to speak but Lucy cuts her off. "Even when you were in denial. Even when you didn't know it, It was still her, Kara. And I knew that. Yet I didn't do anything."

Kara's crinkle appears, not really understanding Lucy. Her eyes filled with confusion. "I don't... What? What do you mean?"

"The painting." Lucy looks down at their hands, slowly intertwining their fingers together as she rests her forehead on Kara's. "The painting on your living room wall. The woman on that beach. It's  _her._ isn't it? That was Lena you painted."

 

"What-" Kara was about to ask but she stops. Lucy can see the realization dawning upon her. Kara's eyes widen, leaving the blonde speechless.

"And you didn't even realize it." Lucy smiles, letting out a chuckle. "until now" 

"I.. Im sorry, Luce."  Kara whimpers.

Lucy slowly looks up, meeting the gaze of those piercing blue eyes. "I'm just glad I got to spend time with you, Kar. For a moment there, I was happy with the person I'm in love with even if its just for a short time. and I actually know how it felt like to be a part" Lucy puts her hand on Kara's chest, tapping her heart. "of this. I got to be a part of this even if it's just a tiniest bit. And that's pretty amazing, Kara."

"Luce..." Kara whispers. "I wanted it to be real too. If I could.... I would"

 Lucy traces Kara's face. She holds her ex girl friend's face, pulling her for a passionate kiss one last time as a tear falls from Lucy's eyes. Kara kisses her back passionately like it was their last. because it is their last. They settle into an embrace, holding each other, feeling the warmth and radiating every bit of emotion. 

Lucy feels her heart break into million of pieces. She wants to break down and cry but she won't. Even if she just really wants to let it all out. Kara in her arms right now hurts because she knows after this, she has to let her go. All she really wants is for Kara to be in her arms forever. She wants to pull Kara and bring her to Metropolis. She wants Kara to stay with her. Kara is in her arms right now and she doesn't want to ever let go. And she would not have if she hadn't seen Lena change. But Lena did. And Lucy could see how much the raven haired beauty loves Kara. She saw it with her eyes. The sacrifices Lena had made for Kara are testaments to that love. She saw how Lena was with her, how she looked at Kara. She knows because that's how she looks at Kara too. And She knows Lena could make Kara way happier than Lucy could do. And that's what Kara Danvers deserves. So despite wanting to hold the blonde a little bit longer, She lets Kara go. She has to. 

"I know you would." Lucy whispers, still hugging the blonde. "Goodbye Kara."

 

Lucy stares at those piercing blue eyes one last time as Kara rests her forehead on hers.

"Luce." Kara cups Lucy's cheeks as she whispers with tenacity in her voice. And probably sadness too. Grief. "I love you."

Lucy smiles, holding Kara's hands on her face, pulling it down. "No you dont." 

There was no bitterness in her voice. No grudge. It was gentle, as gentle as it could be.

"But thank you" Lucy adds, still smiling with sadness in her eyes. Longing. She squeezes Kara's hand before she lets her hand go. Before she lets Kara go completely. She turns and heads to the plane, not bothering to turn back. Because despite knowing she never had Kara's heart at the first place, it still hurts letting her go. It still hurts losing her even when Kara had never been hers to begin with.

it is only when she's in the plane and Kara's out of sight that she allowed herself to cry. 

"Here" The girl beside her says, offering a handkerchief. 

"Thanks" Lucy accepts the hanky, feeling grateful for the stranger beside her but somehow embarrassed she was caught crying too. "Im sorry..."

"It's okay. Im Susan by the way. Susan Vasquez." The stranger smiles, extending a hand to Lucy as she introduced herself.

 

* * *

 

**_And the moment she does, she cant help but smile._ **

Kara Danvers never thought this day would come. Or maybe she did. She was a little bit hesitant earlier. She had her doubts and fears. Her _What Ifs._  She wasn't really sure about her decisions. She had a dilemma and it was eating her up. She needed to face it not avoid it. She needed to put a stop to this push and pull cycle in her life. She needed everything to be stable for once in her life. So she made a decision, a decision she wasn't entirely sure of a first. But now, being here in this airport and seeing Lucy in front of her, she had never been more sure about something else. Now she knows. Now she's sure.

She's sure that this is the right thing to do because no matter what Lena feels for her, she has to end this with Lucy. It doesn't matter if Lena loves her or not. She has to let Lucy go. It's unfair to Lucy and it's unfair to herself if they continue being together. Because they both deserve someone who loves them with every beat of her heart. And yes, she loves Lucy. She cares for her. But not the way she loves Lena. Because as much as Kara wanted it to be Lucy, her heart apparently beats only for Lena Luthor.

So when Kara and Lucy finally breaks it off, Kara feels sad how it had come to this. It was never her intention to break it off with Lucy. She wanted it to last. But somehow she feels relieved too. Like a breath of fresh air.

She was thankful for Lucy. Their relationship may have not been enough but it was a happy one. Lucy had made Kara realize many things she hadn't even thought about. Like the painting on her living room wall. It hasn't even occurred to her that it was Lena. But Lucy was right. It was her. How the woman's body mirrored Lena's. How she made the woman's hair raven. When she made that painting, the idea is that the woman was lost. She doesn't know what to do. She was simply lost. And that's what Kara was. She was lost. And now she realized that her subconscious used Lena's image because maybe, just maybe, she'd find her way back. Her way back to Lena. To her Home. To her family. Because Lucy was right about one thing. Lena was all Kara needed to actually be okay. The safety Lena brings. The comfort of Home. The sense of familiarity. The thrill and adrenaline she feels whenever they're together. The Happiness and Sadness at the same time. It's like Lena is a whirlwind of feelings that Kara has all bottled up into one. 

She wanted Lena to say she loves her. But she realized she was being unfair too. What if Lena was confused and just doesn't want to hurt Kara. What if she's not ready to admit her feelings yet.  _I Feel For You_ should have been enough for Kara to stay. It is enough. Because when Kara really thinks about it, something, anything, even just the littlest bit of feeling that Lena might have for her is enough. 

She is going to stay. She is going to wait until Lena is ready. She waited for years. She has loved Lena for years by the sidelines. Yes, it was tiring but she's willing to do the same a little longer. Because what can she do? It's Lena. 

**_it has always been Lena. her best friend. her soulmate. her first love. only love._ **

**_her LENA LUTHOR._ **

 

* * *

 

****

Lena's head aches from crying. maybe from stress too. She was thankful Alex is here with her. Somehow, it makes her feel better. Alex had been quiet all through out the ride from Kara's apartment to her penthouse. But Lena knows something is in Alex' mind. Lena knows she wanted to say something and is just holding back. Lena opens the door to her penthouse. The moment She and Alex enters she immediately turns to face Alex. She really wants to know what's on her mind considering it surely has to do something with Lena.

"Okay, spit it out!" Lena says with tenacity in her voice.

"What?"

"what you've been dying to ask me. What is it?"

"It's nothing, Lena. not my place to say"

"Alex. Just tell me!"

"Fine!" Alex sighs as she rolls her eyes. "You really wanna know? I just don't get you!"

"What do you mean?" Lena asks, clearly confused about Alex' sentiments.

"Kara told me what happened last night Lena. I told you remember! I told you whatever you decide to do she has to end up happy. So what was that last night? huh? You should not have told her anything if you were just gonna deny it after!"

"Alex-"

"No! I told you whatever happens next is on you right! My sister's heart isn't some game to play, Lena!"

"Alex, stop! Im not-" Lena is getting frustrated more and more. She wants to say something but Alex isn't letting her. Alex doesn't really get where she's coming from. Clearly, the older Danvers is upset about her sister leaving as well that Lena thinks she's taking it out on her. They both are taking it out on each other. 

"like seriously, why dont you just freaking make up your mind! Why the hell would you say those stuff last night? and say nothing when Kara asks you! why show up in her place today!"

"Because..." Lena starts to interrupt.

"what would have happened if she was there huh? what would have you told her! i just dont get you Lena!"

"Because....." Lena was really frustrated at Alex right now. or maybe at herself.

Alex continues, not really hearing anything Lena says. "I mean like, WHY? it's unfair for Kara! Why Would you-"

"BECAUSE I LOVE HER, OKAY!" Lena raises her voice, leaving Alex speechless. "I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR SISTER AND I-"

"you're what?" Lena hears Kara's voice. Kara who just got out of Lena's bedroom when she heard the shouting.

 

And that's when everything clicked. She notices what's behind Alex, just at the corner of the couch. It was Kara's suitcase. She looks at Alex who was grinning. That's why what Alex was saying never made sense to Lena. Alex knew she is in love with Kara yet she still kept asking why. Alex had seen notice the Kara's luggage the moment they entered the room. Lena realizes Alex wanted Kara to hear her say it. Alex wasn't looking at Lena anymore. She was staring behind Lena. 

"Hey sis. didn't see you there." Alex says before she heads out the door. "I uh. I'll leave you two"

It was like time stopped for a moment. Like time just froze. Awhile ago, Lena was basically running towards KAra's apartment wanting to say so many things. Yet now that Kara is here, she couldnt move nor speak. 

"Youre what?" Kara repeats taking few steps closer to where Lena is.

Lena slowly turns around, finally facing her best friend. She meets the gaze of those piercing blue eyes and for a moment there she feels like losing herself in those eyes.

"Kara." Lena whispers, not believing that Kara is here. The person she is madly in love with is here and right in front of her. 

_Kara stayed._

_And Kara is here._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was upset last night bcs I had to write the chapter again since I accidentally refreshed the page when I was writing it here and everything was just gone :(
> 
> Anyways I see your comments fam! Greatly appreciated btw! I see some wants Lena and Kara and others Kara and Lucy. Im sorry I couldnt please everyone but Ive always imagined the story going this way. Hope its still alright tho? 
> 
> Those who were worried Kara was in the airport and not the one at her apartment opening the door for Lena... Come on you guys! Kara wouldnt break up w Lucy through the phone. I mean its Kara Danvers we are talking about


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the errors. Dont have time to reread it and edit. maybe tomorrow.  
> and oh, the chapter is longer than i intended to sorry.

_because I love her, okay!_

_I'm in love with your sister_

 

"You're what?" Kara asks, looking at her sister and Lena. She went straight from the airport to Lena's penthouse. She wanted to tell Lena that it was okay if she doesn't think she loves Kara yet. She wanted her to know that she realized  _feeling_ for Kara is enough. It's enough for her to stay and she was willing to wait. What she didn't expect is to hear those words from Lena. She didn't expect Lena to admit it to Alex and Lena didn't even know she was there.

Kara didn't expect it. She knew she wanted Lena to love her. But hearing those words from Lena herself, her heart stung.  She felt a pang in her heart. But it wasn't the kind that sends you falling apart. It was the kind that fills up Kara's eyes with tears, tears of happiness. She couldn't believe it. Did she hear it wrong? 

Lena turns around to face Kara. For Kara, it was like everything was in slow motion; The way Lena's hair flips, the moment her piercing blue eyes lock gazes with Lena's emerald eyes. Kara was lost in those eyes, those eyes that Kara couldnt resist. She takes a step or two forward, not turning away from the raven haired beauty in front of her. She didn't even notice Alex wasn't there anymore.

"You're what?" Kara repeats, gulping a sob because her tears are definitely threatening to fall. Her heart starts to beat erratically. She could see Lena's hands tremble and it makes her own do as well. She clenches her fist to hide it.

Lena's mouth slightly opens, finding the words, and then closes again. She stares at Kara with different emotions radiating from those eyes. 

"Kara” Lena says barely whispering but Kara heard it and just the way Lena says her name makes Kara’s heart jump.

Lena takes a step forward. The look of disbelief evident in her eyes, “You... You came back.”

“I came back” Kara repeats, letting it all sink in because yes, she did come back. She came back for Lena. She always has.

“You’re staying.”  It wasn’t a question. It’s what Lena believes, what she hopes, what she wants to happen.

“I’m staying” Kara says as she takes a step closer to her best friend.

Lena does the same and before they know it, there are only few steps between them to close the gap. “You’re here” Lena says with a hopeful smile on her face.

Kara couldn’t believe how in a messy state, Lena could still be beautiful more than ever. _My parents warned me about the drugs in the street but never the ones with Green eyes and a heartbeat,_ Kara remembers thinking that before. And yes, that is still true because somehow, she is addicted to loving Lena Luthor. Don’t get her wrong. She tried to stop. She really did but how can anyone not love this girl in front of her?  

“I’m here.” She whispers, gulping back a sob. “Lena-“

“Kara, let me.” Lena says, stopping whatever Kara was about to say. “Last night, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought it was right to let you go, that I was putting you first.”

“You weren’t” Kara says as a tear falls from her eye.

“I know.” Lena says. “I know that now. And I went to your apartment to say that, to say a lot of things. To say that I’m sorry, Kara.”

Lena holds Kara’s hand and squeezes it as she continues. “I’m sorry for all the canceled plans before. I’m sorry for the things I’ve said, for the things I wasn’t able to do. I’m sorry for being a burden. I’m sorry for not realizing it sooner, for being with the wrong person. I’m sorry for being blind and not seeing what’s right in front of me. But mostly, I’m sorry I didn’t get to say it. What I really want to say is”

“No” Kara stops her, removing her hand from Lena’s hold. “Don’t say it if you aren’t sure”

Lena shakes her head. She takes Kara’s hand again as tears start to fall from her eyes. “I love you, Kara. I’m in love with you in a whole new different level that I haven’t experience before that it scares me. But I don’t care”

“But..” Kara wipes her tears as she struggles to get her words out. “I know I wanted you to say that but you can’t because I might just believe you, Lena. And if I believe you, there’s no going back.”

“Hey. Hey” Lena wipes Kara’s tears, cupping her cheeks. “I don’t want to go back, darling. I know you’re scared. I know I’ve hurt you. I won’t promise never to hurt you again because god forbid, I could. We make mistakes. But I can promise you that I’ll be here, Kara. I’ll be here through it all. The good, the bad, and everything in between.”

“Lena” Kara starts to say but Lena cuts her off as she continues.

Lena takes Kara’s palm, putting it on top of her heart. “I love you, Kara Danvers. But I DON’T want you to think that I love you because you love me. That’s not it. I love you for the reason that I simply _do_. I love you with every beat of my heart, Kara.”

Kara was taken aback by Lena’s admission that she was speechless for a minute there because _this._ This is what Kara has always dreamed of, Lena loving her with no conditions. She never thought everything would turn out this way and she was more than thankful for it. Kara is in total awe because she thinks, _WOW, This is what it feels like to be actually happy._

Lena had said it. Lena had finally confessed everything. It was like her soul is bare naked in front of Kara. But Kara doesn’t say anything and Lena’s scared that isn’t enough. Lena’s scared that Kara doesn’t believe her. She starts to say more and the next thing she knows, for the first time ever, Lena Luthor, the all well-composed CEO, becomes a rambling mess.

“-And I know if you only let me, I would. I know this past year had been stressful for you. But you asked me to give you a reason to say. You asked me to tell you and you would. And I’m giving you one now, Kara. And I’m asking you. Stay. Please. And-”

“Lena-”

“-And if you don’t believe me, I promise I’ll prove it to you because-“

Lena stops rambling when she suddenly feels the blonde’s lips on hers. Kara kisses Lena passionately as she pushes her to the wall with the palm that was on Lena’s chest. Lena deepens the kiss, not wanting this moment to stop. Everything was perfect. There was hunger in the kiss. Passion. Love. Longing. It’s more than Kara had always imagined. It’s more than Lena had always wanted. It’s _everything._

It was like time stopped. Kara was feeling everything all at once, taking this moment by heart because _finally._ Finally, the person she’s been in love with loves her back. Finally, her best friend feels the same way. Finally, Lena Luthor loves her. And that’s everything for Kara.

Their lips slowly part, allowing both of them to breathe. Kara rests her forehead on Lena’s as she traces her jaw. “I love you too, Lena. Always have. I’m right here.” She says, smiling.

Lena lets out a chuckle.

“What?” Kara asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing” Lena says, smirking as she bites her bottom lip. “I’ve… I’ve just always imagined that it would be me doing that to you. You know, slamming your back to the wall, kissing you to stop your rambling, and all that.”

“Well, Lena Luthor…” Kara teases “There are a lot of things you have yet to discover about me. Perks of having me as a girl friend, you know”

Lena smirks as she pulls by her waist, switching their positions. Kara gasps and put her arms on Lena’s shoulders. Lena’s right hand is holding Kara’s waist while her left hand travels from Kara’s chest to her cheeks, tracing her best friend’s face with her fingertips. She leans over, closing the gap, almost kissing the blonde. _Almost._

“Are you saying you’re my girlfriend?” Lena smiles, feeling like the happiest person at the moment.

 “Duh.” Kara rolls her eyes teasingly. “I told you there’s no going back” She pulls Lena for a kiss. She could feel Lena smiling through the kiss and it makes her heart beat rapidly for Lena. _Only for Lena_ , She thinks.

“Wait” Lena slowly pulls away with confusion and fear evident in her face. “Are you sure? I’m scared you’d get tired of me. After everything, Kara, Aren’t… _Aren’t You Tired?_ ”

“Of course I am. I’m tired of not being enough. I’m tired of being with someone I’m not in love with. I’m tired of controlling my feelings, trying to conceal them. I’m tired with a lot of things, Lena.” Kara says, seeing the mortified face of Lena. She presses their foreheads together and gives her a smile, assuring her. “But one thing I’m never gonna get tired of is _loving you_. I’ll never get tired of loving you, Lena Luthor”

Lena smiles with that. She stares at those piercing blue eyes, at Kara, _her Kara._ “I’ll never get tired of loving you too, Kara Danvers.”

 

 

* * *

*** a year after ***

 

A lot had changed in a year. Last year Kara got her heart broken and lost herself. She was also able to mend her broken heart and find herself, know herself. She is thankful for Lucy for that. Lucy was who she needed that time to finally be able to learn how to be stronger and independent. But Lena is who Kara needs- forever. Yes, Kara had made mistakes but she had also become a better version of herself.

Kara sets up the blanket on the grass as she stares at Lena walking towards her with the picnic basket. Last year, if someone had said she’d be happy with her best friend, that she’d be editor – in –chief in CatCo, she would not have believed her. Yet here she is right now, having success in her career and falling more in love with her _girlfriend_ every single day. She couldn’t ask for more because _this_ was more than she hoped for. Kara smiles as Lena sits right beside her.

“Hey, Baby. Got your favorite food” Lena says as she puts the picnic basket down. Lena kisses Kara before she starts to stand. “I’ll leave you to it”

“Babe.” Kara pulls Lena’s hand. “Stay. Please?”

Lena sits closer to Kara this time. She takes off her coat and puts it on Kara. Lena puts her arm around Kara’s as the blonde leans her head on the brunette’s shoulder.

“Hi Mom. Hi Dad” Kara says with a crack in her voice. She stares at the tombstones in front of her as she traces the replica of her parents’ necklace that Lena gave her a year ago. “Remember when I told you about the void in my heart? And How I was so scared it would never be gone, that I’ll always feel alone and left behind? Well guess what, It’s gone now, mom, dad.”

Kara’s tears start to fall from her eyes. But she wasn’t sad anymore. She wasn’t angry anymore. She was okay. She finally understands. She smiles and looks up at those emerald eyes and smiles at Lena. Kara then intertwines her hands with Lena’s as she continues. “it’s gone because of Lena. I know you know she’s my best friend but I also want you to know that she’s my girlfriend. She looks at me like I was the universe above mom. She’d hold me close and keeps me safe during my panic attacks just like you did, dad. She’d call me out of nowhere just because she misses me. She’s my everything. And Lena makes me the happiest, mom and dad. I still get hurt and scared like I told you last year but I’m okay, mom, dad.”

She turns to face Lena, meeting the gaze of those teary emerald eyes. “I’m more than okay. I’m happy.” Kara smiles, the smile that is only reserved for Lena. “I’m _home.”_

Kara and Lena stay like that for awhile under the night sky, enjoying the stars above them and of course the food. Lena looks at her watch and it was 11:58. The day was almost over and that was there cue to leave.

“Happy Birthday, Babe.” Lena says before kissing Kara passionately. She smiles as she realizes how blessed she is with her girlfriend. “I love you.”

All Lena could think about was it’s _THIS._ She had always believed that one day, someday, somewhere, someone is going to make her happy she’d barely think it’s true. Someone is going to make her feel not only butterflies in her stomach but the whole damn Safari. Someone is going to hold her hand and be there through the good and most especially the bad.

And it’s _this._

_It’s Kara._

_Kara Danvers is her someone. The One._

“I love you, Lena” Kara couldn’t stop the grin in her face. Whenever she’s with Lena, her heart beats erratically but utterly calm at the same time. She stands slowly, tapping the tombstones of her parents. “I miss you every day, mom, dad. I miss you. And I wish you could have been here. I’ll always wish you could have been here. I… I love you both”

Lena walks towards Kara. She holds Kara’s hand, letting her cry for a moment. “Wherever they are, I know they’re proud of you, darling.” Lena whispers.

When Kara finally calmed herself enough, she asked for the car keys and went to get the car in the parking lot while Lena gathers the picnic basket and the blankets.

Lena takes this opportunity to be alone with Kara’s parents even if it’s only through their tombstones.

“I once wished that I could take care of her. The moment I had the chance, I did. Now I'm asking you to give me the chance. Because I know I'd marry her someday. one day.” Lena whispers, smiling. “Wherever you are, you don’t have to worry because I’ll always love Kara. And I promise you, I’ll never get tired taking care of your daughter."

Lena hears the car's engine. She stares at Kara as the blonde beams at her, waving excitedly.

" _I’ll take care of her, I promise.”_ Lena whispers as she leaves smiling, walking towards Kara, walking towards her girlfriend, her best friend, her _one._

Lena is walking  _home._

 

_*** fin ***_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to refresh your memory: Chapter 9 -Kara's birthday. Chapter 11 - where Lena wished she got to take care of Kara. And since Kara was the one asking "Aren't You Tired?" in the first chapter, it felt right that it would be Lena asking in the last chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Like i said, this is the first thing ive ever finished writing in my whole life and i know this is full of writing mistakes and all but im just too tired to edit em all already. Im no expert in writing. Havent written anythng before this. English isnt my first language. I dont reread to check for errors. Im just a shipper w an imagination. In spite of all the errors, i hope you guys got to understand the plot and the story i was trying to tell. Thank yall for sticking by fam.


	19. Not an update: SEQUEL

Hey Fam! So I have decided to continue this story. I've already thought about the plot but since the ones who had read this fic will prolly be the ones reading the sequel (altho u can understand it wo reading This) I wanted to ask your opinion about it. (Just comment down below)

Like what do you prefer? Just pure fluff? Or is it still okay w you guys to have some angst? And what do you want to see and not want to see? 

Even tho ive already made up a plot in mind, ill see what i can do.

THANK YOU FOR THOSE STILL INTERESTED IN THIS. Ill put the link to it in here.

Thanks again!  
Twitter: @bezziexmates  
Tumblr: rainbowsxunicorns

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the errors, friends. So what do you think? would love reading your suggestions/comments. :)
> 
> Have a good day! If u wanna talk or something...
> 
> Tumblr: rainbowsxunicorns  
> Twitter: @Bezziexmates


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